I'm So Sorry For Falling In Love With You

Ch6 - Acceptance

As Jeff's condition improved, Austin's got worse.
More and more often Jeff would catch the taller man staring at him out of the corner of his eye, Austin scanning over Jeff's body whenever they talked, the tiny hint of a blush constantly present on his face.

It was a lazy, rainy Wednesday afternoon.
The two men were sitting on the couch, watching a random crime show.
Jeff sat with his legs crossed, leaned against the back of his seat, while Austin had his knees pulled up to his chin, resting his head on top of his legs.

There was an odd tension in the silence, like they were supposed to be speaking but chose not to, the chatter of the TV making the quiet seem worse than it probably was.

Jeff turned his head slightly to look at Austin, noticing him turning away almost instantly, focusing his eyes on the TV instead.
He seemed troubled, flustered, even.
His eyes were heavy and he looked tired.
It was as if he was constantly deep in thought trying to think of something to say, the silence obviously bothering him.

"Hey, Austin?"

Jeff broke the silent streak, his voice snapping Austin out of his train of thought, his head rising and turning to face Jeff.

"Hmm?"

"What's on your mind?"

Jeff's question made Austin scrunch his eyebrows a bit, his head falling back to meet his knees again.

"Not much."

Jeff snorted at the statement, shuffling so he was completely turned towards Austin.

"Don't lie. What's happening?"

Austin sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Well, ever since I came over and we talked, I've been..feeling things. Things I don't know how to describe."

He looked towards the wall, avoiding Jeff's gaze.

"I keep thinking back to the day you kissed me. I keep thinking what would have happened if I hadn't gotten scared. I keep-"

Austin took a deep, shaky breath, a hint guilt and fear audible in his voice again.

"I keep thinking what it would have been like to kiss back."

Silence fell over the room again, Austin still staring at the wall, not brave enough to face Jeff.
There was a shuffling noise, a weight settling down next to Austin.
A warm hand rested on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
Austin tensed up, mustering up the courage to look up, his gaze meeting Jeff's as soon as he turned his head, a nervous warmth spreading through Austin's chest.

"Do..do you want to try again?"

Jeff's question was simple, forward, and scared the everliving hell out of Austin.
Austin swallowed a lump in his throat, nodding slowly despite the terrified drumming in his chest.

Jeff raised a hand up, gently touching Austin's jaw, the shorter man's fingertips sending jolts of fear down Austin's spine.

"We don't have to do this if you're afraid."

Austin's heart sunk.
He could run away right now if he wanted to.
Shaking his head, he locked eyes with Jeff.

"I don't want to keep being afraid."

Jeff smiled softly, his hand moving to cup Austin's jaw completely, his thumb gently running over Austin's blushing cheek.
He shuffled closer to the taller man, leaning in slowly until the two men were so close they could feel eachother's breaths on their lips.
Austin shifted in place, gasping when his lips brushed briefly against Jeff's.
Jeff leaned in further, the gap between their lips closing more and more until they met.

As soon as Jeff's lips met Austin's, his fear seemed to melt away.
There was no rush in the kiss.
It was sweet, reassuring, careful.
Jeff's movements were gentle, as if Austin was going to shatter if he moved too quickly.

Austin relaxed into the kiss, his eyes fluttering shut, hands rising to rest on Jeff's chest and feel his quickening heartbeat.
Jeff's lips felt soft and smooth against his own, his stubble prickly and rough in contrast.
Austin felt a shiver run down his spine when Jeff's teeth grazed his lower lip, his mouth opening slightly in response, head tilting to deepen the kiss.
Jeff's tongue prodded at Austin's lips, a vague taste of fruity bubblegum present in his mouth.

They parted after a few moments, Jeff pressing their foreheads together.
Austin breathed shakily, his eyes still closed.
Sighing, he ran his hands down Jeff's chest, stopping at his hips and giving them a light squeeze, rubbing circles into Jeff's sides with his thumbs.
He opened his eyes slowly only to see Jeff was already looking at him with a dreamy, loving gaze.

"Was that as scary as you thought it would be?"

Jeff joked, running his hand through the back of Austin's hair.
It made Austin chuckle, his head tilting so the pair's noses were touching, lips mere inches away from another kiss.

"It was terrifying."

Both men laughed this time, their breaths warm against eachother's faces.
A giant weight just leapt off both their hearts and flew away.

As they laughed, a single thought crossed both their minds.

Maybe falling in love isn't such a scary thing after all.

~END~