Chapter 2
The dumbest way to die allowing yourself to fall in love.
Loving your best friend is a perfect way to slowly torture yourself. You'll realized you died a little each time you found him with someone else. What's worst you have to endure those moments when he's with his beloved.
Falling in love with him is like I'm digging my own grave while I'm alive. Maybe I'm a masochist despite of being in pain I choose to stay.
That's what you get for being such a reliable and supportive best friend. Stay close and hold on to him while you're literally bleeding inside.
Today is Marcus and Colleen first date. We set up the date on the park where Colleen lives.
Since my best friend Marcus doesn't have any romantic bones and zero skills in effort department. Well, I have to work my ass off to put up everything.
'Such a lazy ass. Why do I love him in the first place?'
One thing I knew the answer to my question. I love him despite of the flaws and imperfections.
Being around him is more than enough, I guess. I know we couldn't be something I always dream of.
Helplessly, I sighed and place my hands on my waist. I'm witnessing the best days of his life while I'm stuck behind the shadows of this unrequited love.
There's no one to blame to this mess no one but me. From a far, I could felt the air happiness and laughter around the park.
Suddenly, I looked at them once again it felt I died once more. Only to realized I'm in tears, every second pass I'm at my very downfall.
How could I stand watching him from a far and being happy with someone else?
Suddenly I felt someone pulled me out of that scene. Of all people, he was the least expected I'm going to see here. Not in my miserable state, not when my heart is bleeding in pain.
He dragged me away from the park and I followed him without uttering a word.
Quickly, I wiped the tears in my eyes but he handed me a handkerchief.
"Thank you." My voice sounded like a whisper. His expression didn't change a bit for the last minutes I'm with him. He never shown his emotions ever. I'm starting to wonder if he's a robot not capable of having any feelings.
"Aren't you tired watching on the sideways?"
Out of the blue, he asked me that question. Honestly, I'm caught off guard. Is he watching me the whole time? Right now, he might thought I'm an idiot.
In the longest run, I'm tired of waiting for a love that never happened but I didn't know why I'm still here. Maybe I'm still hoping there's a chance for me and Marcus.
"I didn't want to mind your business but stop being the victim. Stop being the desperate ones."
That very line tick me off. I glared at him. Who was he to judge me lightly? I didn't deserve any of this not from someone who didn't know a thing about me.
I couldn't defend myself at him for there's truth in his words. Reality hurts if you hear it directly to another person. The truth is I'm longing for my best friends attention. I'm desperate for his love not as a friend but as his other half.
"Am I that transparent?"
Another fresh tears flesh out on my eyes. On that very moment, I wanted to be left alone and having an audience didn't help at all.
"I couldn't believe that you're able to decode me that easy. Are you a freaking stalker?"
He snickered on the last statement. That's the first time, I've seen him show facial expressions. Seeing him in a different light is quite a scene. I hope to see him more than his usual poker face facade.
He moved towards me and gently held my cheeks. I felt like I'm struck by lightning I couldn't move at my feet. His face is only a few inches to mine.
"In your dreams, Nine." He chuckled and pinched my nose.
"Aww, that hurts." I exclaimed and hit him on the shoulder.
I touched my nose and pouted. I glared at him and tightly held my cardigan.
"Stop sulking. Come with me." He commanded like he was giving orders as he grabbed my hand.
Quickly, I resisted from being taken away against my will.
"Wait!" I exclaimed. "Where are you talking me?" I sounded unsure and couldn't help but looked back at the park where Marcus and Colleen's date take in place.
"Don't tell me you want to stay there? He shook his head and expressed his annoyance.
He place his hands on his pockets and waiting my reaction. I got tongue tied. I know I promise Marcus to stay close around the area in case he needed back up I could came to his rescue.
"I can't leave..."
"Why? Because he needed you?" He look at me with disappointment in his eyes. We're not the best of friends for we avoided each other like plague but seeing him shown a little care about me was something new.
"I promise my best friend to support him."
He brushed his hand through his hair and groaned. "And what you'll end eating up to your own misery? For once be selfish, Nine."
" I'm selfish to the point I don't care if I ended up like a fool. He's my damn world and I couldn't let go of him. If I needed to carry his world on my shoulder. Damn, I will! I'll be his Atlas if he needed me too. "
How could I blurted my feelings out loud to this guy? He's not like he would care in the world. My cheeks heated in embarrassment for I know I'm out of control to let my feelings got the best of me.
He close the gap between us and wrapped me in his strong arms. He gently brushed my hair and tears fell in my eyes.
"Your best friend is an asshole for not seeing your worth. You deserve more than everything. You could cry all the bitterness you feel but promise yourself you'll move on."
He whispered and his hand reached my cheeks took away the tears in my eyes.
Once upon a time, I thought no one will ever understand my pain and longing for my sided love.
But here you are came unannounced and comfort me with the truth. Truth hurts, I know. I couldn't promise anything about moving on and letting go. I hope one day I'll get there in time.
