Dr Phantomhive

Chapter 12-The diary part 2

Sebastian's POV

I had lost track of time as I swam in my thoughts. I looked at the clock that hung over the desk in the room. It was 2am and I realised I haven't slept but I had to know why Ciel didn't want me to see that plain book. I saw Ciel lock it in his desk when he thought I wasn't looking. I'm thankful that subtlety wasn't his best quality.I walked down the halls as silently as I could to the study. I entered the study and quickly went over to the desk to face my biggest threat. The keyhole. I pulled out a red clip that one of his fellow asylum patients gave him during there first meeting. I breathed and thanked the strange boy as I unlocked the draw with it. I removed the book and quickly headed back to my room. I rested my back against the pillows as I read the first entry.

Day 1 

I only started work recently and I think I have already found a likely friend. His eyes showed sorry. I wonder if he can be saved?

I skipped a couple of pages until I stopped at one that made tears well in my eyes.

Night 5

I had the nightmares again for the fourth time this week.However it was different I felt the flames this time and when I ran to my parents I felt everything. The blood when I hugged them, the tears, the pain everything. I think I've alarmed Paula this time. I just hope Sebastian's life was happy before he came here and I hope his life stays happy.

I turned to the final page that was written the night before the fair

I can't take this any more. My dreams have become worse and I've been in this hospital for a while. I keep seeing Claude in my usual dream, killing my parents. With all this I'm surprised I'm not in Sebastian's place. I can't live like this I just can't. I want to see mother and father again along with aunt red. If she was still alive I wouldn't feel so alone here. She would've been my doctor but she's dead. I just want to end it. I hope noone finds this.

 Tears rushed out of my eyes. Ciel was planning on ending his life I refused to believe it as I heard my door being opened. It was Ciel, looking at me with a worried look on his face. I looked into his innocent face and I couldn't stop myself. I ran over to the boy and hugged him gently."Why didn't you tell me,Ciel? I wouldn't have asked if Paula was your mother if I had known". I felt Ciel fall to the floor, tears flowing so easily from his wide eyes. I sat on the floor next to him, never once lessoning my grip from the innocent boy that sat crying infront of me. I felt Ciel try to get closer to me so I picked him up and rested him on my lap and allowed him to cry into my chest."W why did they have t to l leave m me? D did I do s something wrong?". Hearing these words escape the boy's mouth made me grab him tighter as a tears escaped my eyes. "Don't you ever even think of blaming yourself. It's not your fault". I felt the small body grow limp as he fell asleep in my arms. I rocked him slowly and kept comforting him as he slept. I decided that Ciel's well being will become my priority more than ever.