His Rejection Killed (ON HOLD)

Chapter Twelve

Unedited.

Chapter Twelve.

I hadn't known that leaving them ruined would break me too. I never wanted to become like my mother but, I had. Everything about me had become so twisted and ugly that I could barely recognize myself. That's probably why God had turned me into a monster.

It had been days since I had last seen any of them. But I could still see their faces every time I closed my eyes. It haunted me to the point where I didn't even want to sleep. Just like how they had gone ghost; I had become one. My skin had turned a sickly pale and I had lost so much weight.

And I was mad at myself. Mad that I was allowing them to still rule over my life. I kept swearing that I would change, that I would become stronger. But I hadn't. I was the same as I was when I had entered this town months ago. Only difference now was my deteriorating health.

I couldn't help but wonder if my health had anything to do with Antonio, my mate. It was no secret I missed him. Even now when I knew he was probably sleeping next to Cera—my sister. I didn't fully understand what being a mate was but, I knew it hurt. I didn't want it. It even affected her. I could feel my monster stir inside me wanting to get out again. Except this time, she wanted to go find her mate. Feeling her whine gave me pleasure. It reminded me that even as a monster I could still hurt. No matter how strong she was, she wasn't stronger than the bond I had with Antonio. In some way I think she hated that. She wanted control over everything and Antonio was making her weak.

Other than mopping around, I found myself trying to find whatever information I could about werewolves. I wanted—needed, to find out more about what I was. What my father was. I hated to admit that I knew nothing about him. Hell, I didn't even know his name, and now it seemed like I might never find out. Deep inside I knew I was probably never going to see him again. And I wasn't sure if I wanted to. If I did I knew that I was going to have to tell him about how I grew up. I was going to have to spill all my mother's ugly secrets. I wanted to hide that side of her forever.

But just as much as I didn't want to see my father again; I did. I wanted to see him. See how much of myself I had gotten from him. Watch him realize how much he had messed up. See him regret everything.

I laughed as I remembered Cera's and Laura's face. Laura was obviously shocked. Guess my mother wasn't the only one who was fooled by my father. At least she had his love unlike my mom.

It was like history was repeating itself all over again. Just like her mother, Cera got all the love. Except this time Antonio was my mate. She had accomplished what my mother had always wanted. To steal someone who was never hers to begin with.

I was livid. I could feel her pushing to be let out. She wanted Cera's blood. As much as she hated the bond; she hated knowing that another female had stole what was hers. I almost wanted to let her loose. But it wasn't worth it. Even if I killed her Antonio still wouldn't want me.

After all I was the problem all along.

I considered leaving it all behind me. Running away from his God-awful town and never looking back. But I couldn't—wouldn't allow myself to be a coward. I wouldn't give them the power of seeing me run. I had run away from my problems once and it wasn't any better than before.

It's funny how I thought I had a choice—like he was going to let me leave.

It was another couple of days before I had any encounter with anyone. If it was up to me I would never see another person ever again. But I didn't have a choice. Just because I hadn't left my apartment in days didn't mean others couldn't come here. And that's exactly what happened. Against my wish Antonio once again came to find me. Except this time, he wasn't coming because he was concerned about me.

The moment I opened the door I knew whatever he said was going to hurt me. I prayed I would be wrong. But the look in his eyes when he glared up at me told me a different story.

"Antonio." My voice was rough; probably because I hadn't spoken to anyone in such a long time. I was thankful though—the roughness in my voice made it seem cold. It hid the slight shiver that ran through my body as I took him in. Even now he looked so beautiful. I hated myself for still wanting him.

"Esther." Like usual his voice was cold towards me. I smiled knowing that nothing changed about him. He was still the cold-hearted bastard that I had gotten to known.

My smile must've affected him. His already cold eyes became harder. It wasn't my noticeably thinner body, paler skin, dull hair, or dead eyes that affected him but my smile. I shook my head as I felt my monster whimper. She wanted him to care.

"What do you want?" I pulled my cardigan closer to myself as if I was trying to protect what little left of me I had.

He kept eye contacted as he spoke.

"Cera asked me to come. She's under the impression that just because you two are "family" it changes things—" He paused to sigh. It was like this whole situation affected him. "Of course, it doesn't. I love Cera. She's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I know its selfish, but I can't give her up. I don't want to let a stupid bond determine whom I must love. I chose Cera for myself while you are someone whom I'm being forced to be with. Even if I picked you I wouldn't be happy. I want to determine my own fate, to control my own life and how I'm going to live it. That is why I rejected you and that's why I can't be with you."

It had almost made sense.

I wanted it to make sense even if it hurt my every being. But I couldn't allow it to excuse everything he has ever done.

"What if Cera picks her mate? What then? You'll come running to me?" I had so many questions. Everything he was saying made me question him even more. It all was an excuse that he was trying to make sense.

"Wait, are you actually stupid? You think that just because you want to control your life you have to ruin mine? —" I glared up at him with as much hatred as I could muster to give him. He was shocked. I have never stood up for myself to him. His shock only lasted a minute before his wolf took over and growled, obviously not appreciating the way I was talking to him. But I didn't care, at this point him and his wolf had done and said enough to me.

"You know what never mind, I don't care what you decide to do from now on. I, Esther Elizabeth DeFranco, accept your rejection. Now get the hell out of my house." And with that I slammed the door.

Who knew that was all it took for hell to break loose.

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