Sudden Lunacy

The Best Zoo Ever

The second Marcus pulled into the parking lot, Conroy vomited his lunch onto the parking lot. Marcus had yelled and belittled him a bit, but Conroy was too excited to let his father's scolding get him down once he saw the poorly painted sign. While Marcus paid the ridiculous twenty dollars to get into the zoo per person, he excitedly ran into the zoo to look at all the majestic dying creatures imprisoned behind steel bars.

"Down here!" Three and a half feet with an additional two inches from a knitted pom pom shouted, doing little to disrupt the crowd before him. That was one thing Conroy had inherited from his mother. While Marcus topped at nearly six feet, she was only five feet and four inches tall. Conroy was abnormally short for his age, only reaching three feet and a half inch. There was no way he could see past the kids in front of him. He frowned as he crossed his arms over his ratty old bear.

"Hey! I can't see!" The abnormally short boy yelled waving his hands above his head, not gaining any notice from the average sized kids in front of him. One even stepped backwards onto his toes, causing him to exclaim in pain.

Conroy sighed, looking in the direction he knew the giraffe would be standing, or perhaps laying dead. The Funroe zoo was rumored to be where animals went to die, and just last year, they had several monkeys commit suicide by hanging themselves with vines. It was recorded an accident, but when stacked across the incident of the giraffe "drowning" in a puddle of mud while still standing, it was hard to look past.

Conroy could barely hear the agitated and unhappy-to-even-be-alive tour guide going on about how gorillas intoxicated by a worker's secret stash had attempted to murder the elephants with a couple of two-by-fours. These are crucial things to your childhood, and he couldn't even see through a single part of the group; the people lacking thigh gaps but making up for it with cankles.

"Marcus?" The young boy asked through twinkling blue eyes and a lopsided smile as he looked up at his dad. "Can ya' please lift me up onto your shoulders like ya' used ta'?"

"Hmm? Oh yeah, sure, that's awesome Conroy, and possibly extremely nerdy and stupid, depending on whatever utter nonsense just passed from your lips." He mumbled paying much more attention to the texts he was reading from a girl who he couldn't accurately labeled as Debbie or Amanda. For the moment being, she was just "The really energetic one" in his contacts. He was really drunk last night, and actually had no clue what she looked like. The only reason he knew she was in his house was because he remembered meeting her and was mysteriously missing a pair of boxers. He actually had no clue how many woman he had been with that night but figured it couldn't be any more than half a dozen. He normally couldn't do more than six girls a night normally unless he had a good helping of Speed or Crack and he was only drunk the night prior.

He was currently attempting to describe to her how credit cards worked, and was also realizing how stupid she was.She had bought a lot of things and was wondering how she still had so much money. Groaning as he ran his hand back through his black hair, he was really wishing it wasn't extremely rude and tire slashing worthy to dump someone over text.

Luckily for Marcus, he got another text that was more worthy of his time, from an old flame named Gracie. They had been pretty serious, exclusive to one another, and going as far to say the sacred words, I love you, before she had to pack up and move to take care of her parents a few states north in Tennessee. And to say how serious that was for Marcus, he hadn't had a stable, exclusive relationship since he tried to make it work with Conroy's mother almost eight years ago.

'WYD?'she texted with a small heart shaped emoji.

'Nothing important.'

'Want to skype? Haven't seen you in so long.' She texted with another heart and a winking face, making Marcus really wish he was somewhere private and not so child friendly.