It was only 50 degrees outside, and you would think that it was about to snow from the jackets on the Louisiana residents. Being from Chicago himself, Marcus was much more accustomed to cold temperatures, and was comfortable in just his t-shirt and jeans. He really found it pointless to buy a jacket anyways because they were in that bipolar part of the year where the state just can't make up it's mind. It was October, and just last week, it was nearly 80 degrees outside.
As he treaded past bundled up and happy families, Marcus found himself wondering if he could just accidentally leave Conroy at the zoo in hopes one of them would adopt him. Sure it was a terrible thought, but Marcus really had no clue where the kid had run off too, and his feet were starting to blister. Today was turning out to be a really bad day for Marcus, and he knew he still had to watch the little brat for six more hours. This was really pointless in his opinion, which also thought it would be great for both of them if he never even saw Conroy again.
It would really be better for the both of them.
After looking for about an hour, Marcus was about to give up hope when he remembered Conroy always ran to a comfort place when he got upset. At home that place just happened to be in the attic crawlspace, and one time when he got stuck while Marcus was focused on a video game, CPS showed up and almost pressed charges. Now whenever he got upset at Marcus's house, his safety spot was in the shower, which was really inconvenient.
As he pulled a zoo map from his pocket, Marcus decided he would have to attempt to think like Coroy. It was a big zoo after all and there were a lot of places to hide. After several minutes of thinking, and a break for a hamburger, he was sure the small boy would have ran off to his favorite animal's cage. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he remembered exactly what that special animal happens to be, and headed off towards the insect exhibit.
Spiders and Marcus had never really gotten along, especially after a traumatizing bite by a black widow when he was around five. Now if he saw one, he was bound to completely wig out, and smash the poor, unfortunate invertebrate to pieces. Just walking through the dimly lit room was enough to give him the creeps, leaving him disappointed that the insects were real, and not just rocks or sticks like the snakes.
Turning past the mosquito and cockroach exhibits, Marcus found Conroy sitting on a rusty iron bench sniffling as tears ran down his pale face, opposed to looking at the Goliath bird eating spider that sent chills through every fiber of Marcus's body.
Conroy flinched when he heard Marcus's footsteps but didn't even look up. He didn't want Marcus to see him cry, because that meant screaming or hurtful names. Conroy wanted to be tough like Marcus wanted him too, he really did, but sometimes that was really hard.
"What the HECK is WRONG with you kid? You can't just run off like a sissy when things don't go your way! " Marcus yelled angry with this whole situation of playing babysitter in an insect death house, and perfectly fine with lashing out on this small kid. Marcus threw Conroy's ratty old bear at him before he continued to yell. It bounced off of the boy's trembling shoulders and fell to the ground. Conroy saw Marcus's arm raise out of the corner of his eye and let out a small whimper. "I was looking all over for you! I ought to beat some sense into you! WHY do you have to run off like that?"
Conroy didn't respond, so Marcus grabbed his arms, forcing him to look at him. He shook the boy slightly, causing him to let out a startled yelp and tighten his body.
"Huh what is it Conroy?!"
The young boy grimaced at his feet before replying softly. He knew a punch was coming. He could feel it. He hadn't seen Marcus this mad in almost a whole year of visits. He had to use all of his strength to reply, his words coming out weakly. "I-I-I was sc-c-c-cared."
"Y-Y-Y Y-You were s-s-scared?" Marcus mocked cruelly, feeling his blood start to boil with rage."What are you not scared of? Why on earth can you not be like a normal kid!? I swear... this is getting so old! Scared of EVERYTHING! What were you scared of? Me? The Zoo Lady?"
Conroy didn't reply, clenching his teeth as he started to ram the soles of his shoes together. He didn't want to say anything to Marcus, because he was afraid he would say the wrong thing. He always seemed to. Sure he and Marcus had happy moments like the zoo earlier, but they were all ruined with fights, disapproval, and yelling. Now, Conroy just really wanted to go home.
His silence wasn't a good enough response for Marcus who continued to shake him and demand an answer. A vein was sticking out of the side of his head. Conroy knew there was no getting Marcus back from the point he was at. He would have to let him yell until he calmed down and hopefully not say anything wrong. So much for wishes.
"COME ON, out with it you piece of-!"
The walls came crashing down and Conroy started to wail. "I-I-I'm s-s-scared of myself, OKAY?!"
"Yourself? What kind of load of crap is that?"
"W-W-When I get upset! I-I'm scared I'm going to hurt someone just like you hurt my mom! I don't w-w-wanna be a monster like you!" He whined before giving away into a small sob. His voice quieted and his eyes filled with fresh tears. "I'm a-a-afraid I might hurt someone like you h-h-h-hurt my mom, and how you are hurting me now! M-M-Marcus,p-p- please listen to me! S-S-Stop!"
It was then Marcus realized how tightly he had grabbed hold of the little boy's arms, and released him, pushing him away. An instant guilt rushed into his body as he realized he had let his anger get the best of him again. He knew Conroy didn't deserve anything he gave him because it wasn't the poor kid's fault he had been given Satan for a dad.
"Yeah, well that was along time ago." He grumbled quietly as he stood up knowing good and well that Conroy had no idea of the events that led up to him violently attacking the boy's mother in a drunken rage. If he had, Marcus was pretty sure the kid would be even more messed up emotionally than he already was. He had given the poor boy a stutter, and knew the kid cried himself to sleep most night. He knew the small boy was afraid of nearly anything in the world, especially the dark. Still, knowing all this information, he couldn't control his temper. Couldn't stop the insults. He had to take a break from hating himself all the time sometimes and unfortunately for Conry, he often made a convenient target.
"She s-s-still has a s-s-scar on her back." Conroy whispered quietly rubbing his nose across his green jacket sleeve. "C-C-Can we just go home now? I don't like the z-z-zoo t-t-that much anymore."
Marcus nodded, heading off in the direction he came, not even checking to see if Conroy was following him or not. He was too lost in memories of his violent rage, and the two years in jail time that followed. Almost everything after finding out Gwen was taking to the street to earn money for drugs instead of sobering up for their child like they both vowed was a blur that ended with him in a police car on his way to the county jail.
They honestly tried to make it work between them for his sake, but there was a reason they never visited Conroy together.
All that had been told to Conroy, who was only four at the time of the accident, was that his mother had sobered up, and his drunk demon of a dad -who wasn't actually drunk, having been sober since the boy's birth- had completely lost it for no good reason. He was too young to remember anything other than the violent onslaught of punches that night or weekend visitation. After that, there were no more weekend visits between the couple, and Marcus hardly had kept up with her. Conroy's grandmother made him vow to never reveal the truth that she still did drugs and still sold her body, and that Conroy obviously wasn't a good enough reason for her to sober up like he had.
That was all good and fine by Marcus.
The kid deserved at least one decent parent.
YOU ARE READING
Sudden Lunacy
Ficțiune științifico-fantasticăMarcus couldn't believe his eyes as they fell upon the three mutilated men on the floor. Gashed open with a large knife the woman still held, their bellies were completely hollowed out. There were no organs to be found, and from the gashes that cove...
