Love Sick

Missing You.

As I walk back through the loud, cold and empty hallways of the hospital I follow back to my room my eyes start to scan each room as I swiftly walk past.
I stop in my tracks as I see room 247.
The room is empty, but the memories are flooding out the door.
Jo.
He was one of my best friends in here. He made it feel like it wasn't such a sad place. His imagination ran wild, we would build paper airplanes and fly them down the corridors as we ran with them. It was a moment we shared together, in that moment when the planes were up in the air, we felt free, free from this hospital, free from this sickness, free from death.
All we would do was laugh, staying up all night as we laid out in the garden keeping all the other patients awake as we got lost in the night sky.
I will never forget that night, the night we didn't go lay out on the grass because he told me that he wasn't feeling well. I remember I went to go visit him in his room and he couldn't
look me in the eye.

His face was blank from any emotion, I could barely even notice him. It wasn't like Jo to not have his big geeky smile across his face. His eyes stained red from the tears, I didn't understand.
I was confused, I knew nothing, but somehow I knew everything. There were no need for words. I sat down next to him and grabbed onto his hand and within instant his head was resting on my shoulder. I could feel most of his weight against me as his body was too weak to hold himself up.
"How long?" My voice soft and quiet, I didn't want him to answer, I wanted him to tell me it was just a false alarm, that everything would be okay, that he would be okay.
"72 hours" he hesitates as my heart skips a beat at the words, this can't be right. He's stronger than this. He was getting better.
"That's maximum, I'm lucky if I wake up tomorrow." He sighs as I feel a drop of water land on my leg, his tears fall slowly onto me.
My eyes begin to sting and words can no longer be said. My vision starts to get blocked by the water building up, I shut my eyes quickly as two splashes of water drops from them.
I squeeze his hand tighter as I hope for it to all be a dream, but it's not.
"What now?" I say as my head rests ontop of his.
"We wait." He breaths in as he slowly lays back in his bed pulling me next to him as my head rests on his chest.
The room is silent as all I can feel is his heart beat against my ear. The beats are fast, knowing that he's worried.
I clench my eyes close, I don't want him to leave me, what will I do without him? He's the only thing getting me through all this.
"Promise me something Milly?"
"Depends what I'm promising, because if you think I'm going to look after that slimy green thing over there, not happening." I say in fear looking over at the glass cube in the corner of the room with the words "OSCAR" written in bold on a piece of white paper. Jo starts to laugh but is cut short as he begins to cough heavily, he steadies himself and clears his throat.
"First of all it's a bearded dragon, and that 'thing' has a name, that's clearly written in bold letters on his box." His sarcastic tone increases.
"But no, I want you to promise me you'll beat this, you'll get better, you'll start a family, grow old and you'll be okay."
He grips onto my shoulder as he pushes me tighter against his chest.
"But-" I begin to say as I'm quickly interrupted.
"But nothing, God dammit you're strong, you're the strongest person I've ever known. Don't let this own you, you can beat it, I know you can." His words comfort me but mean nothing, I know I'm going to die soon, it's just a matter of time.
I grip onto his waist tightly.
He shuffles back into the bed as we finally lay there silently as my eyes start to get heavy, slowly closing with every blink.
I awaken to a loud ringing sound, filling my ears as I start to become more awake the sound is more clear, it's a elongated beep.
No.
No.
No no no.
Jo? I swing around in the bed so I am facing him as his eyes are shut softly, his skin is cold.
I begin to shake him but his motionless body doesn't respond. I muffle in confusion.
"I need a nurse" I scream out enough to echoed throughout the entire building.
"No, no, no, no" I repeat as I continue to shake his lifeless body.
"Don't you dare die on me Joesph. Not today, not now." I grip onto his face searching...searching for any sign of life. My tears fall onto his face as they run down his cheeks.
"Somebody help him" I scream again as the door swings open and a group of four nurses rush through. I scream into his chest gripping onto his hospital gown.
"Someone get her out of here please" one of the nurses say as my heart skips a beat. No! They can't take me away from him.
They pull me away as the muffled sounds of the nurses talking doesn't matter, my vision is locked on Jo. My legs kicking as I try escape from the grip of the two men carrying me by the shoulders. His body doesn't respond to anything as they begin to rub two clamps together as the other nurses rip the gown from his body revealing his pale white skin.
"Ready?" The doctor says as he warms the two defibrillator clamps together.
"One."
"Two."
"Three"
"Clear." His body pulls with the clamps as if he was attached but his body falls back into the bed within seconds.
"Okay, no heartbeat. Again."
"One."
"Two."
"Three."
"Clear."
His body does the exact same, no improvement.
"One last one then that's all we can do."
Please please please Jo, come back. Come back to me. Don't leave.
They go through the whole process again, this time it all slows down, their movements now take what feels like hours.

Suddenly it hits me, he's gone.