Love Sick

Penn Part 2

"Man it's so good to see you're okay" A familiar voice comes from above me. A touch warms my shoulder.
My eyes start to re-adjust, I bright light shines directly into my eyes as its soon shaded by a figure.
As my vision becomes focused, I notice it's Alec "Wilson" above me. His eyes red and his face stained with tears.
"We didn't know if you were going to make it, it's been hard enough on everyone dealing with Avery, we just couldn't go through another" he clenches his thumb and index fingers across his eyes as he rubs the tears away.
What does he mean dealing with Avery? What happened? My heart begins to race as a million questions go about.
A frown of confusion sweeps across my face.
"What are you talking about? What about Avery? Where is he?" My eyes begin to sting as I fear the words that will come out of his mouth. We are trained to stay strong, to cut our emotions off, but Avery... He was my best friend, he was there for me and I was there for him no matter what, we have been in the military together since the beginning. Not only was he my best friend, he was my brother. Someone I would take a bullet for, someone I would die for.
"I'm sorry man" Wilson breaks down, I've never seen him so cut up, I lay here confused. Why? Why is this happening?
"Where is he I want to see him." My confusion takes over my body as the words slip out of my mouth. God dammit Penn he is dead.
Wilson face is stunned. He is confused, shocked that I didn't understand him, but I did. I sigh as I shut my eyes tightly, trying to wake up from this nightmare.
"He happened to jump in the direction of the RPG... There was nothing they could do. He died from the explosion"
We sit there in silence, taking it all in.
I look down and notice tight bandage around my left arm, it stops just above my elbow. My arm. It's gone.
Confusion. Fear. Worry.
It all repeats.
"Ma.."
"My.."
"My arm" I repeat continuously.
Wilson corrects his posture and quickly looks uncomfortable, not able to look me in the eye.
"Wha-" I hesitate.
"How"
Wilsons face fills with guilt, sympathy.
"They did the best they could man, you lost a lot of blood, it was either that or your life."
Right in that moment I wanted to say why they didn't just let me die, I can't live with this, limbless, what about my job? I break down, tears flowing down my face as my eyes sting and my head begins to feel stuffy. Wilson walks over and pulls me into an embrace. I can feel his guilt for me to, but I don't want him to.

"What does this mean for work? When can I come back?"
Wilsons face drops like he wasn't expecting me to ask.
"I think we need to focus on getting you back into the routine of just everyday life Penn" His face is full of guilt.
"Alec, when did sergeant say I can come back?"
I repeat. He hesitates for a few seconds.
"I'm sorry, they don't want you to come back, not after this. You know how they can be real assholes. They don't see a use for you anymore." He looks down at his hands twiddling his thumbs avoiding eye contact.