Love Sick

Struggle.

Back to Millicent...
My usual Wednesday consists of a regular blood check at 10am from Judith, Morgan Sir Hosptials eldest employee. She's been working here for 32 years and refuses to retire. She thinks it keeps her busy because her six children have all grown up and started their own families.
Judith is probably the only other friend I have in here, she comes in, making sure I'm well fed and looked after. She has been with me since I was first diagnosed and honestly... She is more a mother figure to me then my own.
She's been there through the hard times, the happy times and most importantly, when Jo passed away. I don't think anyone was able to talk to me for weeks, but Judith, she helped Jo too. Every time she comes in to test my blood she tells me a memory she had of Jo. That's why Wednesday's are my favourite day of the week, why Judith is someone that understands me and who I can trust.
When I was re-diagnosed three years after they told me it had cleared up, I felt it hit Judith the hardest out of anyone I had known, including my family. She was searching for the countries best doctors, getting second, third, fourth opinions. Making sure there was no mistake in what the doctor had confidently stated.

I hear two taps on the door as it soon swings open. To my surprise, Judith in her polka dot t-shirt that flowed from her big built body, her maroon red hair shined as the sun hit it as her reading glasses sat on the tip of her nose.
She held a blue tray with a paper cup and a plastic wrapped syringe.
Her black work pants almost dragging along the ground as the faint taps of her flats shuffled across the room.
"How's my favourite patient going today?" Her smile lights up my entire day. I frown with a grin running across my face.
"You know I don't like being referred to as a patient" I pout.
"Only teasing love." She winks as she sits on the edge of my bed putting the tray on the side table.
"How are you feeling today sweetheart?" She rests her hands in her lap as she takes off her glasses and places them in the shirt pocket on her left side.
"No better, no worse, you know the drill. Just slowly dying." I say with a fake smile then go back to no emotion.
"Oh darling, it's a terrible thing but you know I'm here to make you better" Her smile never fails to make me grin with ease, she taps my leg  as she stands up to reach for the plastic wrapped syringe.
They used to scare me for a good four years but now, it's just like brushing my teeth.
Yelling from next door interrupts us as Judith pauses looking directly at the door with concern. My eyes follow hers as she begins to swiftly walk out, not saying a word. 
I pull myself off the bed and hop down slapping my bare feet against the cold ground. I peek out the door, searching for Judith. A crowd of nurses pile around the flooding room of a persons room, I can hear the yelling and things crashing against the floors.
I stand on my toes to try get a view of what's going on. Soon enough I can shuffle through the crowd.
"Why the hell didn't you think to mention that one Wilson?" A voice pauses as there is silence.
"You think telling me my best friend getting killed was good enough for today was it?"
I now am in view of both the men arguing.
The one yelling has a bandage wrapped around his left arm as he stands in a hospital gown. He looks familiar, I don't know where I have seen him?
His arm cuts off at the elbow, from the bandage it's clear it was a recent amputation.
The other guy stands on the opposite side of the room as he face is filled with guilt.
"Okay so how long?" The guy in the hospital gown says as he breathes out loudly, rubbing his forehead in frustration.
Silence.
"How long have you been going behind my back with my fiancé Alec?" He shouts as he pushes the trolley plated with his lunch to the floor, shattering the plate.
"Two years" he looks down at the ground not able to look him in the eye.
"You bastard" He storms up to him, pinning him against the wall with the force of his only arm.
The rush of nurses come in as they pull him off, releasing "Alec's" breath as he sucks in all the air he possibly could like he was being held underwater.
He leans over with his hands on his knees. The patient still daggering him in the eye, although he's being dragged away by nurses.
Judith and another nurse run over to the other man, asking him if he's okay.
"How could you do this to me man? After all we've been through together, all I've done for you" he breaks down as he releases from the grip of the nurses falling to the ground.
"Okay honey we need to get you out of here" Judith says as she ushers the other guy out of the room, I eye him off with a sharp frown as he passes me. Although I don't know him, I want him to feel his guilt for what he did. He looks at me with a grin swept across his face, like nothing even happened.

This made my resentment for him even stronger in this moment.
Within seconds all the nurses are back to their shifts and the hallway is cleared. I am left standing there and hesitate to go back to my room, I spin around and begin to walk back to my room before someone calls out.
"Hey you!" They say, coming from behind me.
I turn around and scan the hallway, it came from the room that had the argument in. I pop my head in as a guy laying on his bed was staring back at me, his face is scratched up, he's connected to a breathing mask through his nose.
"Me?" I respond.
"Yeah, your the one I saw when I came in here" he says as the memory of seeing him rushed in that day I saw the old man in the park comes back to me.
"So what was all that about?" I say. He looks confused but angry.
"Oh is that what happened at these places? A little drama sparks up and suddenly the entire building knows?" He mockingly says as he rolls his eyes letting out a sigh.
"Great I'm going to love this place." He mumbles as he raises his eyebrows.
"Ah actually I'm right across the hall.. I heard yelling so I came to check it out." I quickly add in.
"You're a patient here? Why are you here? Can't handle a broken heart so you tried to get help from the professionals?" His snide attitude infuriates me as I roll my eyes and turn around pacing out the door with pride.
Guess I'm staying clear of him.
I get back into the safe and comfort of my own room.
Before I know it Judith is walking back in.
"Sorry about that sweetheart, now let's get this blood checked up on" she says as she pulls out two plastic gloves and puts them on quickly as I sit up on the edge of my bed, rolling up the sleeve of my three-quarter blue button up denim shirt. The crease of my arm, opposite to my elbow is where I get the blood taken, it has been left bruised for years now, the ache of it is no longer irritating to me.
She slowly pushes the syringe into my flesh as I breath in closing my eyes, for a moment I am relaxed, I feel at peace as a pulling inside my arm starts to arise.
A knock at the door makes my eyes shoot open.
Judith is placing the blood filled syringe on the tray as we both turn to see the guy across the hall.
"Sorry" he says with a grin. I look back at him emotionless as I look at Judith and back at him, Judith is looking at me as she continues to pack up her things.
"I'll be back in a couple of days if there is anything changed in the results" she says softly as she walks out the room swiftly.
"About that before." He continues as I look down at my dangeling feet, jumping onto the floor.
I walk over to the corner of the room as I slide on my converse, ignoring his presence.
"Okaayyy" He says as taps the door frame as he turns back around to return to his room.
"It's Cancer" I say closing my eyes, even the word sends a shiver down my spine.
He stops as he turns back around.
"Cancer?" He needs reassurance.
My eyebrows raise in his response.
"Lymphomas, 9 years." I say quickly as I walk past him leaving the room.
He pauses for a moment, confused.
As I make my way down the hall i feel him jogging behind me to catch up.
"Where are you going?" He says, curious.