Self Service

Four Brothers

Priscilla parked in front of Phoebe's house and started going through her key ring until she got to the one for her sister's house. Pulling Scott to the porch, she felt a sort of nervousness.

"Hey, before we get in here... They already did a background check on you and they probably know more about you than you know about you."

"Very reassuring."

It didn't bother Scott at all because he understood why they would feel that need. The world was crazy and filled with all types of dangerous men. He was actually pleased to know that they had dug up some information on him. It showed him that they cared enough about their sister to really know who she was with. It proved he wasn't the only man who cared for and valued Priscilla.

"They give overprotective the meaning," she mumbled.

"I would if I had younger sisters too," he told her, rubbing her shoulder.

She pulled him into the house. Immediately, they could smell the tomato sauce Phoebe had on the stove and hear music playing.

Priscilla pulled Scott to the backyard where Penelope was dancing to Oh My Love by Chris Brown with her siblings, mother, Keith, and her brothers' girlfriends watching, Dion holding the camera.

"I'm assuming that your choreography skills didn't come from your big sister," Scott said, drawing everyone's attention to him.

Penelope went and jumped on her sister as if she hadn't seen her in months while her mother and sister followed behind her.

"No, Priscilla can't dance," she told Scott as she moved to embrace him and Phoebe and Paulina hugged Priscilla.

"I can dance!" Priscilla defended herself.

"No you can't," Scott and all her brothers told her as the men came over to meet him.

Scott shook all their hands. "Dion and Steve as you can see are identical. It'll take you awhile to differentiate," Priscilla said.

"I can already tell the difference," Scott told her. There were slight physical differences between the two.

She shrugged. Paulina smiled and hugged Scott. "It's nice to see you again, honey."

"You get easier on the eyes every time, Paulina."

"Boys, take some of this charm and use it," Paulina joked.

"I don't need charm, Paulina. All it does is make my girl think I want her mama. Look at yo daughter," Jaheim said, nodding towards Priscilla with a raised brow in Scott's direction. She didn't seem pleased with his charm.

"You better not want my mama after I just spent a weekend with children. Not to mention one of those things threw up on me."

"You got Priscilla around children?" Penelope and Dion asked together in shock. Who cared about the vomit?

Paulina covered her mouth to hide her smile, but Priscilla was privy and her eyes landed on Scott, narrowed in slits. Because she knew that he did what she told him not to. She knew exactly why her mother was smiling.

"Scott Nolan..." She took deep breaths, her teeth clenched. "I'm going to kill you."

"I wanna know!" Penelope whined.

"Oh!"

Phoebe's eyes lit up and she pulled her phone out and showed her sister the picture Scott had sent to her while he held Priscilla back from taking the phone and destroying the picture.

"Is that our Priscilla made as a lion?" Rakeim smirked at his sister.

Priscilla bit Scott making him let her go to examine his arm, and she tried to get the phone out of Rakeim's hand. But everyone else laughed as he held it out of her reach. "Jump for it," he told her, waving it around. "Come on, Prissy. You can do it."

"Stop! Give it!"

She pulled on his arm, so he switched hands. "Y'all bet not break my phone," Phoebe told them, still laughing.

"I'm breaking it!" Priscilla screeched, reaching for the phone and jumping.

"Give it up, little woman. You can't reach," Steven told her.

"Fuck you. I'm five foot seven. I'm not little."

Everyone else began dying laughing. Priscilla was the shortest person in attendance at five foot four. Penelope was five foot six, Phoebe five foot eight, and Paulina five foot seven. But Priscilla wore heels tall enough to make her five foot seven. Right now, she wore flats trying to take a phone from a brother more than a foot taller than she was.

"It's not funny," she complained, breathing hard as she reached for the phone. "Give it here!"

Rakeim got bored of holding the phone up and instead gave it back to Penelope. And Priscilla tackled her, but she put it in her shirt.

"I'll touch your titties. I have before," Priscilla told her, reaching into her blouse. Penelope had a hard time keeping Priscilla out her shirt.

"Keith!" Penelope squealed.

"Priscilla, save some for me," he said, his accent thick.

"I don't want these things. I want the picture!"

Penelope's breasts were the least of her concern. All she knew was that right now there was a lot of warm flesh going on and she couldn't feel the phone under the boob her hand was currently under.

When Priscilla finally got the phone from between her sister's breasts, Phoebe slipped it out of her hand and stuck it in her pocket.

"Keith, Tina, Lora, Missy, why don't you all come meet Scott," Phoebe suggested, face palming her sister to keep her at bay.

Scott hadn't been expecting Keith to be Spanish. But it didn't surprise him. Penelope seemed to have a thing for accents. And the way Priscilla talked about him, he expected him to be much older than the thirty-eight she'd said he was. He guessed, in relation to Penelope's twenty-three, he was pretty old. But in relation to Scott himself, he wasn't old at all, but really only a mere five years his senior.

Scott was introduced to Rakeim's, Jaheim's, and Steven's girlfriends. But none of them really said much.

Phoebe went in the house to check on her dinner, and the boys took Scott out front.

"We're going to skip the question and answer portion of this meeting," Dion told him.

"We already know who you are, where you're from, what you do," Jaheim told him.

"What we wanna know is your intentions with our little sister," Rakeim told him.

"Companionship. The woman has four large brothers and seven guns. I think it would be in my best interest not to be too stupid," Scott told them. "She's not exactly the type of woman you fuck with."

"Smart man," Steven told him.

"You fucking my sister, man?" Jaheim asked.

Scott's face was priceless. He didn't look afraid, but definitely caught off guard. But he quickly recovered.

"I'm not fucking anyone," he assured him.

"You sure?" Steven wondered.

"Do you want to rephrase the question? If not, I'm pretty sure."

The boys chuckled. Man had balls. They had to give it to him. He was holding his own.

"I hope your hopes ain't set on kids," Steven said.

"Having one would be great. Not having one is alright."

"You get Priscilla to have a child, and I'll pay for the whole nursery," Jaheim said, holding no stock in his words. He knew she didn't like children.

"I'm holding you to that," Scott warned him. He hadn't given up the hope that Priscilla might agree to just one baby.

"You do anything to hurt our sister, it's the four large brothers, not the seven guns, you'll have to worry about," Dion told him.

Phoebe popped into the window. "Come eat."

"Don't you hear men talking, Phoebe?" Steven asked.

"Don't make me punch you, fool. Come eat."

Scott chuckled, glad he had no little sisters. Or older ones, for that matter. He went to his car to get the bottle of bourbon he'd brought just for Phoebe.

"I knew I liked you," she told him, smiling as she took the bottle, going for glasses.

"Let me help you."

"Oh no, you're a guest-"

"I insist."

He took the tray from her and escorted her outside, setting the tray on the table.

"Designate drivers," Phoebe told her siblings.

Priscilla designated herself and went to get herself a can of Pepsi. After getting herself tore up, she decided that sticking to wine and other light liquors was in her best interest.

Jaheim designated Missy and she rolled her eyes and Keith looked over at Penelope. "Do you want me to drive, novia?"

"Be more like him," Missy complained at Jaheim.

Priscilla sighed. "I didn't sign Scott up to listen to you argue, Missy. You don't even drink."

"What if I want to tonight?"

Priscilla raised a brow. She'd already gotten into a physical fight with the other woman and didn't have a problem slapping her again if she kept kicking up her fit when she didn't even drink.

"Do you want a glass, Missy?" Jaheim asked his girlfriend.

"No."

"Then why-"

"Priss," Penelope mumbled, touching her arm. "Let it go. It don't bother your brother enough." Then she turned to Keith. "I'll drive."

"So prayer," Paulina said, clearing her throat, diffusing the situation.

Paulina did grace and dinner was started. "Oh, Phoebe, since I'm here, why don't I take measurements for your shelf later? I don't have work this week," Scott suggested.

"Sounds good to me."

"Oh, so you're like a contractor or something?" Tina, Steven's girlfriend, asked.

"He's a lawyer with way too much free time." Priscilla looked over at him. She'd forgotten about the shelf a long time ago.

"So you work with Priscilla?" Lora, Rakeim's girlfriend, asked in interest.

"That's how I met her. Little beauty walked right into my office with the most eager attitude I'd ever seen in an intern. Twenty-one years young and fresh out the bar exam room it seemed," he said, looking over at Priscilla with adoration.

She smiled, managing to forget she was irritated. Just hearing him take that tone when he talked about her. As if that was the best day of his life.

"I don't think she was there to be my intern. For one, I was just barely into the profession myself. For two, no one else could tolerate her level of intelligence or comprehend a woman with so much command. But the moment I saw her, I loved it. The way she was put together, the way she held her own. I was very likely more her intern than she was mine. When she would be advising my clients, I'd be so busy watching her that by the time they were gone I'd realize I hadn't said a word. That whole first year, I was smitten. I often thought about asking Priscilla out but then thought 'why would she say yes?'. I mean... She's gorgeous and she's independent and intelligent. Priscilla could have anyone she wants from her looks alone. But she holds great conversation, and she does these cute little things when she thinks I'm not paying her any mind. I've been asked countless times why I want her, why I waste my time on her. But she's not a waste of time. I like it that she means business when business is meant. I like it when she calls me by my name. Scott Nolan. Like it's all one word."

Priscilla watched Scott like every word leaving his mouth was vitally important. She hung onto his every word as if they held the cure for cancer.

She remembered when she first walked into his office, expecting to see someone a lot older and certainly a lot less attractive. She'd in fact asked Scott whether he was his own assistant and was perplexed by the chuckle.

"Scott Nolan at your service. Priscilla, right?"

Priscilla looked around the office and back to the young gentleman with his hand extended before she finally shook it. "I need to see ID."

Although it probably would have been a misstep in the eyes of another associate, Scott, finding humor in the situation, showed her his driver's license, which she inspected before deciding he was who he said he was. "This says 1980. That would make you twenty-six."

"Correct."

"You've been a lawyer for a week and you get an intern?" Her mouth was curved in an almost smile. He shrugged.

"I'm special. Now, just to be fair, I'll need to see some ID."

Priscilla giggled and opened her purse and pulled out her wallet to show him her ID. "This says 1985. That would make you twenty-one."

"You think you're funny."

"Not particularly."

Priscilla rolled her eyes at the handsome man and took her ID back. "I'm not here to fetch you coffee, to pick up your dry cleaning or whatever other menial tasks people pretend they like making their interns do."

"I have a feeling I'm not the first choice for this," he told her.

"There were two other men first."

"Well, Priscilla. I usually make my own coffee and rarely need dry cleaning."

"Good. Now open up a file and pass it to me."

Ever since that day, Priscilla kept her eye on him. He was her first major crush, really. She didn't know what she liked about him, but it pulled her closer. So when he finally asked her to dinner and not casually out for drinks, she was more ecstatic than she'd tell him as she accepted.

"Priscilla is the type of woman who you can't explain why you're so drawn. It's just everything. Something that the world doesn't need to know. She's a challenge. And I'm glad I stuck around long enough to see into her world. It was worth the wait," he concluded, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles softly.

Scott had every woman at the table swooning. Including the other four sitting there with their boyfriends.

"That is the sweetest thing I've ever heard!" Lora gushed.

"Scott is always making women fall in love with him," Priscilla said, leaning over to kiss her boyfriend.

Steven put his arm around Tina. "Better not be making this one fall in love or I hope he got room at his house for her."

Penelope giggled at her brother. "You jealous, Stevie?"

"Jealous dese nuts."

"Aye, my mama sitting here, fool," Phoebe told him.

Paulina rolled her eyes. "Child, please. The stuff you and your sisters say in front of me?"

"We're yours. You used to it," Penelope told her.

"This is what you're signing up for, Scott," Paulina warned him. "All seven of them and their significant others."

"No. Just me," Priscilla cut in.

Scott just smiled and shrugged. He could handle that. If Priscilla had dealt with his mother, he could deal with her family who weren't bad at all.

"Alright, so if I'm going to sign myself up for this, can I at least know some things about you, gentlemen?" he asked her brothers.

Priscilla kicked Jaheim when she knew that he was about to say some smart shit. "Tell him something and don't make me punch you," she warned.

Priscilla actually had a pretty good left hook that no sane person would want to be on the receiving end of.

Each of her brothers told him something about themselves, engaging in conversation. Scott even asked Keith, Missy, Lora and Tina about themselves. Keith seemed like someone he might be prone to hanging out with.

"What about you, ladies? What's new?"

"I'm holding an event this summer. Maybe you'll come see the half-naked women. Priscilla helped me pick my models," Phoebe told him.

"Dating one yet?" Dion asked. She rolled her eyes.

"I'm waiting to take Nori from you."

"You know what's bad is that I believe it."

Phoebe smiled and Penelope shook her head before she smiled. "I'm doing a meet and greet and I got these t-shirts made up to say Penny Candy with my logo on it."

Scott frowned in confusion. "Nelly is YouTube famous," Priscilla explained.

"My channel is Penny Candy. I have 987,999 subscribers. I'm hoping to get to a million by December. That's the goal."

"That's impressive. Where is your meet and greet?"

"Out in Vegas. I talked to a nightclub about renting it out. I only want my twenty-one and older fans out. Quite frankly, children have no business watching me anyway. What fun is it if we can't all have a drink together?"

"How many people do you expect?"

"About 500 so far. The club will be at capacity at 2,000. I just announced it this morning and I'm heading out in August. I'm taking Dion so he can kick his corny little game to Nori."

"She like it," he shot back.

"'Cause she found out I'm your sister."

"Which is why she was giving me her number when yo thirsty ass ran out the Hello Kitty store."

"Children!" Priscilla hit the table and Penelope stuck her tongue out.

"Leave us alone."

"Are you ready to go, Scott?"

"What's the rush? Let's stay awhile," he told her.

"Great." She crossed her eyes.

After dinner, Phoebe took everything back in the house and Priscilla excused herself, asking her family to pardon themselves and that it was important. That left Scott and Keith with the boys' girlfriends.

"What is it, Priscilla?" Paulina asked.

"Arabella called me."

Everyone stared at her in absulote silence. No one had heard from that girl since their brother's funeral.

"Arabella, Peter's girl?" Phoebe checked.

"That one. She had his son."

"What?" Paulina shrieked. "Why didn't she tell anyone?"

"She thought we wouldn't have believed her. She said because she got pregnant literally just before he went to Afghanistan that she thought we'd think it wasn't our baby. But now she wants his name on the birth certificate. I'm going to take the DNA test."

"Is it just a desire to fill the father space or does she need financial help?" Penelope asked.

"Does it matter? This kid is one of ours. And if she needs financial help, she'll get it. But we owe it to our brother and his memory to have his kid provided for. His child deserves to know his father would be there. If he could. His name is Daniel Wesly Holcomb. He'll be seven this year."

"How she not gon tell us she was pregnant seven years ago?" Jaheim asked.

"I'm taking the DNA test tomorrow and we'll go from there," Priscilla told them.

Meanwhile, Scott was busy making friends with Keith while the women talked amongst themselves. Mostly, they talked about their women. Keith seemed to hold the same adoration for Penelope that Scott held for Priscilla. "She's a star," Keith said simply.

Scott didn't doubt she was. Penelope appeared to be the type of person with all eyes on her. She just had that type of personality.

"What's up with their brothers?"

"They just want to haze you. Don't pay them any attention," Keith advised. "That was what Penelope told me and it's worked."

"They're certainly a very pushy bunch."

The family came back out, Phoebe carrying a pan of cherry cobbler.

"I think I'm ready to go," Jaheim decided. He kissed his sisters and Paulina, patting Scott's back with a mumbled, "Welcome to the family."

Missy followed behind without a single word. It was clear to Priscilla that Jah was just as upset as she had been when she learned the news. And apparently so were Dion and Steven. Tina asked to take a piece of cobbler home and Phoebe was happy to send her home with a large serving and a hug. "Look after Stevie tonight."

"I will."

The remaining eight people shared dessert under Phoebe's patio lights.

"Which of you heifers sent Scott a picture of me in jeans?"

Penelope jerked her fork at Phoebe. Priscilla wasn't going to be pouncing on her.

"Sellout! You're an accessory!" Phoebe said hotly.

"I'll just kick both your asses."

"Did you get the jeans?" Scott asked.

"You know better."

"Priscilla would rather die than wear jeans." Rakeim rolled his eyes.

"You gotta admire a woman for finding the will to dress up every single day," Lora said.

"Or call'er crazy," Phoebe said.

"I'm stylish."

Behind Priscilla's back, Penelope gestured that Priscilla was crazy, making everyone else laugh. Not moving from eating her dessert, Priscilla popped her sister.

"Keith!"

"What?"

"How are you just going to let this woman abuse me?"

"I saw nothing, novia."

"Smart man," Priscilla told him.

"Mama!" Penelope whined.

"Hit'er back," Paulina suggested.

Penelope raised her hand and Priscilla gave her a look that dared her before her sister popped her back and hopped up.

Priscilla didn't chase her sister. She'd come back eventually. She'd come trying to lay under her.

"She's not chasing you, Nelly. Come sit down," Rakeim ordered.

"Keith, come sit over here with me. Bring my cobbler."

"Querida, can't you come behave like an adult?"

"Pleeeease."

Sighing, Keith headed over and took the cobbler to his girlfriend.

Priscilla shook her head and picked up her fork. "Priss, you know that girl cain't fight," Phoebe told her.

"That's her problem."

"She gon beat ya ass one fine day," Rakeim told her. Priscilla shrugged.

"That'll be the day, won't it?"

"Why can't you be nice to her?" Scott asked.

"Hey, you just got here. Mind your business and adapt to the culture," Priscilla told him.

"How you deal with her?" Rakeim asked.

"With a stiff drink and a lot of patience."

Priscilla popped him and he pinched her. She frowned.

"Nelly, bring your simple ass back."

"No!"

When Penelope did come back, she sat Keith between her and her sister. She was taking no chances.

By the end of the night, Scott had taken the measurements for Phoebe's shelf and said goodbye to everyone, having had a good time.

"I introduced you to all seven of the living people who mean the most to me," she told him.

"Thank you."

"I just am so glad it went better than I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"My brothers to try to punk you out."

"They did."

"Well I'm glad it didn't work." She leaned up to kiss him, and he took the keys to drive to her house.

"Will you make breakfast, Scilla?"

"If you deserve it," she teased, strapping up.

"Well, I'm going to think of a creative way to earn that then." He smiled over at her and pulled away.