Every Heart's Point of View✔️

Save Her Heart (2nd Place One-Shot Writing Contest 2016)

Save Her Heart

I chose to move away. I chose to escape.

I know I'm starting to fall apart. I know I'm starting to be that man that'll soon hurt her. Things are starting to be different and it is not what it used to be. The man she used to know suddenly disappeared. He suddenly disappeared because of something she sure will curse for a lifetime.

So as early as possible, I want to cut the tie and end everything.

It was not for me, but it was for her.

"Stop telling me you have no feelings for me anymore! You love me, right?" she cried as she desperately waited for me to say the words she wanted to hear.

I wasn't expecting this to be easy but hell, I was not also expecting it to be this hard.

Distress was written all over her face. I sighed and took a deep breath before opening my mouth.

"Yes, I do love you," I said. By then I had known that I failed. It took me a month to plan this break-up scene with her but turns out all those efforts on planning were wasted.

Her face brighten up and I closely watched her as a smile slowly crept on her goddess-like face.

"I knew it," she whispered.

Before I knew it, her arms were already around my waist. She rested her head on my chest and added, "Please don't use that joke on me again."

I closed my eyes. Still, it was the same old feeling. Whenever she's around, whenever she' near.

No, she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't deserve the kind of pain I am about to give her.

She deserves someone better than me, someone who would be willing to spend the rest of his life with her. Someone who's willing to give his heart and soul to her.

Someone who is definitely not me.

I wanted to be that guy for her but I know, I won't be anymore. Truth be told, I once thought I could. I once thought I could be that someone who could promise her forever. But then things change, telling her that I could be that man would be a lie this time.

After a month, here we are again on the very same spot. The spot where I told her that I wanted to end things with her. The very same spot where she cried in front of me and pleaded to take back the things I had said that night.

"Mark, please, tell me this is just another joke," she pleaded as she held my hand.

I choose to look away, it would be a torture for me to see her sad face. Seeing her distressed face would tear my world apart.

And no, I can't afford to fail this time. I need to do this for her. I need to save her heart and I will save her heart.

"Enough, Tiff. I'm really tired," every single word from my mouth was like a knife being stabbed on my chest, and I'm losing my strength because of it. But I have to be strong, I need to be strong to finish this business.

"I...I don't love you anymore. I fell out of love, Tiff. I-I'm sorry," I whispered and slowly lifted my head.

She shook her head and another batch of tears fell from her eyes.

"No, please, no!"

I very much wanted to wipe those tears away but I restrain myself from doing so for I wouldn't want to fail this time.

"Was...was it that easy for you? Was forgetting your feelings for me that easy? Was telling me you don't want me anymore that easy?" she sobbed.

I choose to remain silent.

If only, if only she knew how hard it was. It was never easy, letting her go was never easy.

But I had to lie, for the sake of her heart.

"I know this would be hard for you, Tiff. But believe me, it would be harder and more painful if we keep this relationship going knowing that it won't work anymore. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry," I said as fast as I could.

"You're not my Mark anymore," she cried.

I was a bit taken aback when I suddenly felt her hands on my cheeks, her eyes were fixed to mine, her pain and sorrow mirrored mine.

"I love you," was the last thing she said and cried badly. She walked out the door and that means she had walked out of my life as well.

I love her, but I guess this is goodbye.

-

"You are the most selfish guy I had known!" Christina, a friend of mine yelled as she walked closer to the hospital bed.

"Adjust your volume, Christina. This is a hospital in case you forgot. And you really came here not to check if I was okay but to tell me those instead?" I asked and chuckled.

"Of course, I came here because I was worried. I...I just can't understand why you have to push her away!" she reasoned.

I already knew whom she was talking about when she said 'her'.

It's been 8 weeks since I last saw her. I immediately flew all the way to London after everything, I didn't even had the courage to say goodbye for the last time.

It's been 8 damn weeks since she walked out of that door.

"You obviously know why, Tina," I said.

For a moment, she stared at me.

"Your life is not a soap opera, Mark! Why do you have to make things complicated?! You could have told her the truth!" she scolded and cried. There was something in her eyes and it was bothering me.

"It won't be easy. What do you expect me to say? That I have a brain tumor and that I am dying and will soon leave her? Tell me, is that what you want me to say to her?" I asked her with so much frustration.

The tears she was holding back fell.

"Y-yes! She deserves to know the truth even if it hurts, Mark. She could have been here to fight with you! She could have been here, Mark. She could have been here," she cried and sobbed on the side of my bed.

I knew then there was something wrong.

"W-what happened? Where... where is she?" I asked horrified.

She continued sobbing and handed me a folded paper instead.

I shakily reached for it and unfolded the thing.

The letter with her name at the end of it killed me even before my tumor could.

'I love you, goodbye.'

Those were her last words on the note.

By then I had known that I made the wrong decision.

Yes, I may have saved her heart but not her life.