When I killed the Shadow Seeker the crowd that had amassed in the ballroom cheered and shouted in pride for their fallen comrade. I was grateful for the sacrifice of the Seeker and how he went willingly. The Angel was next, and I knew for a fact that he would put up a good fight, but nothing will stop me from getting what I want, even if I’ve known the Angel for my whole life.
I expected him to look at least terrified, but he didn’t, he looked heartbroken. Confused, I walked up to him and knelt down in front of him so that we were face to face. Allard was restricting my mind abilities with his magic, but he didn’t understand that I was getting stronger with every kill, which meant I could knock down his wall in my head.
With a grin I knocked it down and basked in the delight of having my abilities back. No one knew what I had just done except for Allard, who looked beyond surprised. Still grinning, I opened my mind so that Ash’s thoughts were being relayed into my head.
Alexandra, I know you’re in there, he said with determination.
“I am Alexandra,” I hissed.
No, you’re not, this isn’t you.
“How would you know who I am?”
Because I love you.
“And you can’t bare to see me like this? As who I am inside? You must love me lots then,” I said sarcastically, moving my face so that I was almost nose-to-nose with Ash.
I do, actually, he replied with a dead serious face and something inside me squirmed as if it were uncomfortable. I pushed the feeling away.
“You do? Why do you love me even though I’m a killer? Even though you know that I’m going to kill you?” I questioned him, searching his ocean blue eyes that look like they want to show me a whole new world. The something inside began thrashing about, wanting out.
“I still love you because I still believe that the girl I love is still in there somewhere, and that she is still trying to fight back. Yes, you’re a killer, but I remember a young girl who once thought she’d never be able to hurt anyone, and she’s in there somewhere,” he spoke aloud so that everyone could hear.
“How sweet and hopeful you are, but a fool none the less. The girl you love is still in here, but she’s not trying to fight, she’s laughing along with me,” I smirk and raise the knife, holding it in between out faces. I could feel the gaze of everyone in the room on my back, but none of them bothered me. What bothered me was this small voice inside me saying that I was wrong.
“Princess Alexandra, you must hurry, I cannot hold my magic indefinitely,” Allard interrupted, stepping forward to make himself clear. Acknowledging his words, I nodded slightly. I agreed that we should get this over and done with as soon as possible. Every second that passes I begin to doubt myself.
Alex, don’t do this, Ash pleaded.
“I have to, Ashton, I have no choice. To become Queen, I must kill you, and Caleb, and no matter what you say can change that.”
When I held the knife up to his neck my hand trembled ever so slightly.
“Alex, I forgive you,” he whispered so lowly only I could hear him, the knife pressing firmly enough that red dots appeared on his skin when he spoke.
“For what?” I asked confused, my hand’s trembling turning to shaking.
“For what you’re about to do,” he said, closing his eyes with acceptance. “I love you, Alex.”
Even though I mouthed the words I knew that he’d caught what I’d said.
“I love you, too,” the words fell off my tongue but they made no sound. They made no sense to me, but the thing inside me had made me say it, had said that it was right. As I pressed the knife harder against his throat the thing scraped on my insides, screaming at me to stop, to remember, to save.
“Do it now, Alexandra,” Allard pressed, closing in on me he knelt down beside me, his hot putrid breath wafting onto my cheek. His voice provoked anger deep within me, and the thing latched onto that emotion; it knew that it’d bring me to reason. Just like the thing, I seized onto that anger with every thing I had.
“No,” I whispered weakly, the knife slowly lowering from Ash’s neck. Ash still had his eyes closed, but I saw a tear slip silently down his cheek and it made the thing inside cry too.
“No? Did you just say no?” Allard demanded softly, deadly. I was scared, but I didn’t let him see.
“Y-yes. Yes,” I stuttered, then composed myself. The voice told me that I was doing the right thing, that we didn’t want Ash to die.
With a grin Allard seized my hand, the one holding the knife, and kissed it softly on the knuckles. Rather than tingles, violent shivers rode up my arm in disgust. His eyes found mine and held them.
Then, in the flicker of a candle’s flame, he forced the hand that was holding the knife into Ash’s throat.
YOU ARE READING
as i fall
Fantasy"I don't scream as I fall." Kicked out of Heaven and sworn to a life of darkness and death, what is a fallen angel supposed to do? Alexandra Miller has done something horrific and unspeakable, and has therefor been kicked out of Heaven. But the thi...
