Finding Myself

Chapter 1

I sat on the barstool and watched other people dance and mingle. I tried not to get too jealous or slip into my headspace while doing so. I fiddled around with the white bracelet on my left wrist, signifying that I was a single little.

I glanced at my watch and my stomach flipped. I had missed the last bus of the night! I huffed and turned around. I guess I would be walking back to my apartment. I paid for the few drinks I had and pulled my phone out of my pocket.

Plugging in my headphones, I started for the door. As I exited, a beautiful woman caught my eye. She had shoulder length dark brown hair and her brown eyes were so dark they were almost black. She just kept looking at me until I blushed and looked away. She was definitely a dom.

I quickly pushed out and popped my earbuds in, turning on my favorite playlist on Spotify. (It's Hamilton by the way.) Walking home didn't bother me much, it just took a while to get there from the club.

I shivered a little as the September breeze picked up. I was only in a light sweater and it made me wish that I had brought my heavier jacket. I hadn't thought about it earlier because I had assumed I would be taking the bus home, but leave it to me to screw things up and miss the bus.

Downtown Sioux Falls was so pretty at night. There wasn't as much hustle and bustle as there would be during the day, but there was still a considerable amount of people out on the sidewalks. I kept my eyes down and watched my feet.

I was disappointed. I had really hoped I would find someone who would want to be my Mommy tonight. It had been a year since my first and last real relationship. Well I guess it want that real though. It didn't work out in the end but I'm not really sure why. I guess she just got tired of me. I was used to it though. My parents shut me out when they found out who I really was. Not all parents can be super understanding when it comes to these things. It was probably also just my tendency to have the worst luck in the world.

I felt tears start to pool in my eyes and I sniffed. I inhaled deeply and the crisp air filled my lungs, along with the scent of cement and coffee. I smiled. It was a familiar smell and it distracted me from my depressing thoughts. I just kept taking deep breathes.

I was getting tired from walking so long in the cold, but I kept pushing on, knowing that a small 24 hour cafe was nearby. I would take a break and warm there. Turning a few more corners, I opened the door and stepped in, suddenly enveloped in the warmth and smell of coffee and chocolate. I pulled out my earbuds and put them in my pocket.

Ordering a hot chocolate, I sat at one of the small tables by the wall, facing the door. I was half into my headspace as I sipped the warm drink. I thought about how when I got home I could put on the one pair of still soft footie pajamas and go to sleep snuggling my favorite stuffie. I was so far gone that I almost didn't notice when the woman from the club entered. The one I had made eye contact with.

It jolted me from my thoughts and I blushed a little, but tried to continue drinking my chocolate calmly. It was a lot more difficult than it should have been. I half hoped that she would come talk to me, but the other half of me tried to shoot those hopes down. I nervously started to play with my bracelet again.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and looked up, startled. It was her. She smiled softly down at me. Her dark eyes were encouraging. I glanced at her wrists, hoping she still had her wristband on, so I could know for sure what she might want. I caught a glimpse of purple and let out a small, relieved breath. She was a single Mommy.

"May I sit with you little one?" She said in a soft voice. I almost slipped back into my headspace when she called me 'little one'.

I nodded slightly and glanced away, my cheeks flushed even more. I heard the chair across from me squeak as she pulled it out and sat down. I felt her fingers under my chin and I let her gently pull my face to the side so I was looking at her.

"Look at me please." She said.

"Yes Miss." I replied. I knew it was the right thing to say in this scenario because she grinned.

"Would you mind telling me your name?" She prompted.

"M- Marcus." I stammered. I cringed internally. My nerves were getting the best of me. Here I was a few moments ago, pining away for a new Mommy. Then when I get the possible chance of actually getting one, I clam up.

"Well Marcus, I'm Abigail. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

"No Miss." I replied. She was being so kind. I sipped more of my hot chocolate and tried to relax a little.

"Okay. First question. How long have you been a little?" Oh good. An easy question.

"Well I first got into the idea of it when I was seventeen, but I didn't really realize I was one until I was eighteen."

"How old are you now?"

"I just turned twenty a few weeks ago."

"Alright. Have you been in any previous relationships then?"

I shifted a little uncomfortably in my seat.

"Only one. And it didn't really work out..." I trailed off of my sentence and got quieter. This was a tougher subject and Abigail seemed to sense that so she didn't pry anymore.

"Are you looking for another relationship? Is that why you were at the club tonight?"

I nod slightly, blushing again. She smiled.

"Well I think that that's enough questions for tonight. It's late. Come on. I'll take you home."

"Oh, no. It's fine Miss. I can walk the rest of the way."

She gave me a stern look. "It wasn't a question Marcus. It's getting colder and you don't have a jacket. Come on."

"Yes Miss." I said as I got up. It felt good to be told what to do again. She took my hand gently and led me out to her car. I think she realized that she had made me slip into my headspace a little. She opened the passenger door for me and I buckled myself in. I couldn't go in too deep right now as I had to direct her to my apartment.

Soon we arrived at the complex but before she let me out she held her hand out and asked for my phone to put her number in. I unlocked it and soundlessly handing it to her. She gave it back after a few minutes and patted my cheek.

"Thanks for the ride." I said as I got out. She smiled.

"Thank you for answering my questions. Feel free to text me whenever." I closed the door and waved as she drove up the street. For the first time in a long time, I felt real hope fill my chest.

•••

Ok. I feel like this chapter went well.

This book should be a lot better than the last for a lot of reasons. And I mean a lot.

A) I'm better at writing now
B) The chapters will definitely be a lot longer
C) There won't be as many plot holes *cringes*
D) The grammar and spelling will be better {But still not perfect sometimes}
E) It should flow better

I'm not giving myself a set time to update by and I'm also not going to ask for a certain amount of votes or comments. I'll just update when I want to.

I hope you all like this story. I'll try super hard to get it right.

Love, Little-Lover-10