Bakk to Kali.

Still Hurting

Amari POV
I leaned my head against the wall feeling the blade tear my skin. The weeknd blasted loudly throughout the bath room. The shower water ran but I sat on the floor.. The tears slowly rolled down my face. I looked down watching the blood from the deep cuts drop onto the cold tile. I feel like my heart has been ripped from my chest.I took the blade and started to spell my name on my thigh. I went over it again and again. Making the gashes deeper. It was honestly relieving the pain. I want to bring her back . I want him to be OK. I want to be better with Kai but I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be the same.I jumped when the door busted open.I looked up seeing Aubree and sighed .

"Girl. Look at you." She said sadly."You've been in here for damn near an hour" She grabbed my wash cloth off the sink and ran in under the shower water before cutting it off. "This isn't helping anything Amari." She said.

"I know." I admit feeling my heart shatter all over again.

She wiped the rag over the cuts on my thighs soaking up the blood. The white rag quickly turned red. After she cleaned my thighs she stood up and rinsed and rung the rag until it was white again. She sat beside me and grabbed my arm. After cleaning it. She grabbed paper towels and wet them laying them over all of the cuts. After wards she sat beside me.

"You've got to stop. "She sniffed.

"I can't." I say quietly ."it makes me feel better."

"What you hiding from girl?"She asked me. I looked at her to see the tears rolling from her eyes."What you running to?"

"I miss her."I admit." I don't know how I'm supposed to live with out my parents. My dad is in Rehab and therapy. He's always been the strongest person I've ever known and to see him broken like this? It all hurts "I cried.

"Sometimes shit changes ma. You now have to be strong for yourself and your dad. You're going to cut too deep one day and end up in the hospital. We should have took you when we first seen you cutting to be real." She sniffed."its only a temporary fix to a permanent problem. We've been like sisters for the longest. And you have always had your head on right. You've always been so strong for everyone .And seeing you broken like this truly scares me." A few more tears fell from her eyes.

"I have no one to run to. I feel stuck. Like I'm in a corner and there is a big ass wall in front of me. What am I supposed to do?" I sobbed into my hands as she rubbed my back.

"You need to realize how many people are around you that actually do care so much about you. I've always been real with you . So I'm going to tell you straight up. You need to get over that petty shit that happened with Kay and stop shutting Malakai out. " She sniffed sternly.

"I don't know if Malakai is what I need in my life...... I don't even know if I'm something I need in my life." I cry.

"Malakai is exactly what you need ."She said wiping her tears."You need some one to love you how you need to be loved right now. He loves you Amari. He truly does. He made a mistake. "She stresses."You need to truly forgive him or you'll never be able to forgive yourself." She said standing. She grabbed the blade from my hand and walked out. "Go talk to him ." She said loudly.

I sighed deeply . I got up and looked at my self. I hated what I saw. The white tee was now splattered red. My long hair was tangled and wild. The white paper towels on my arms started to turn red too. My tear stained face was dry. And my skin looked like it was falling off of me. I shook my head and went to my room. Malakai was getting ready to leave.

"Don't go." I sniffed.

"What's wrong?" He asked then looked at my arm and legs. "Amari"He sighed.