Fiona //phan AU

5

Phil

Tears. They won't stop.

I'm a horrible person. I hurt my baby sister. I did this.

I try to keep telling myself that I didn't do anything. That she was the one who actually fell. But I also am telling myself that if I had picked her up in time and wasn't late to group, then she wouldn't have been in the situation where she could break her leg.

Mum joined me at the A&E ten minutes later, and she told me that I could leave. So I did. I walked slowly to my car and I'm just sitting here crying.

My mind racing.

Blaming myself for the littlest things. 

As soon as I get home, I run up to my bedroom and slam the door shut, falling face first onto my bed. The tears have stopped now but the thoughts won't. 

Your sister is gonna hate you now. You hurt her. She'll never forgive you. 

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. SHUT UP! I want to scream. these stupid thoughts. Why won't they just leave me alone? 

I remember that I can't scream. My dad is here and is probably drunk. 

I also remember that I slammed the door when I came into my room. Shit. I hope that didn't wake him up. 

I get up off my bed and press my ear to the door. I don't hear shuffling downstairs, which is a good sign. Maybe he just slept through it. 

I sit back on my bed just staring at my feet. Thinking. 

I do a lot of thinking. It's never healthy thinking either. I don't know how to do that. A lot of that is caused by my dad. For five years all he's ever said to me were derogatory and horrible.

 He was the one to plant these thoughts into my head. 

I don't understand how he can be so nice and such a good father to Fiona, but not to me. Am I not good enough? Did my dad never want a son? But what about Martyn? Does he do this to Martyn? 

I shudder to myself thinking about the things he's done to me, he's probably done to Martyn as well. Maybe that's why, as soon as he graduated, he left the house. Because he was scared of our father. 

But why didn't he take me with him? Why didn't he warn me? 

"Philip!" I hear my mum yell as the front door closes. 

"Up here, mum!" I yell back, "how's Fiona?" 

"She's doing well. They put her in a cast and she's not allowed to walk on it for three weeks." 

"Oh," is all I say. I can't believe this. This poor girl. It's all my fault. 

"What the hell happened?" I hear my father yell from downstairs. 

My ears perk up. 

"Daddy. It's alright, I just broke my leg." I hear Fiona say, her voice sounding a bit wary. 

"Who did this to you?" His yell somehow getting louder. 

"Daddy, please stop!" Fiona pleads. 

Those words are all too familiar. 

Five years earlier. 

"Daddy, I'm home!" I yelled from the front door. 

"Good. I've been waiting for you." he said

"Really?" I smiled up at him, but he gave me the most skin-crawling and evil smile that I have ever seen. 

"I've seen your report card. I saw that you're failing a class." He grabbed my chin harshly, "We cannot have that. Not even a faggot like you." He pushed me roughly upstairs into my room, shoved me onto the bed and punched me in the stomach. He proceeded to pull of my pants. 

"Daddy, please stop!" I plead, as tears are falling down my cheeks. 

He raped me. 

Tears are forming in my eyes as I remember that day. It was etched into my brain and it will never leave. I finally muster up the courage to run downstairs to face my dad. 

I find him with a beer bottle in his hand, raised high as if he was going to hit her with it. 

"Don't you fucking dare!" I say through gritted teeth. 

"Or what?" He challenges, the bottle still raised, "You're such a worthless piece of garbage, you won't do anything. 

He's right. If I wasn't so fire up, I would be too worthless to do anything. But I am fired up. 

The next thing I know, I raise my fist and punch my dad square in the face. The bottle smashes into my head. I run out the door. 

*******

I run. I run as fast as my feet can take me. Blood is dripping down my face, but I don't care. I just need to get out of there. 

You shouldn't have done this. What about Fiona? She's stuck in that toxic house, you need to get her out. 

I can't go back. Not right now anyway. 

I find myself in a park. Sitting on a bench, I contemplate what just happened not even 10 minutes ago. I regret not grabbing my phone when I left, now I can't call anyone. Not that I have anyone to call. I only have one O.K. friend, but he's probably sleeping. 

I hear a shuffling of leaves and jump a little. Is someone here? Are they going to kill me? My breath starts to catch in my throat. I can feel myself having a panic attack. I take long, shaky breaths to try and counteract the attack, but it doesn't work as my mind goes mad.

It's probably someone who works for your dad is going to kill you for running away. Or, there's a murderer who escaped prison. Either way, you're dead. 

"Phil?" A voice asks. 

"How the hell do you know my name?" I stand from the bench with my hands in front of me in defense. 

"You're the boy from group, right?" The figure asks. 

"Y-yes," I respond, "Who are you?" 

"It's Dan." He steps out of the shadows from where he was into the moonlight so I could see him better. He has tear stains on his face, that much was clear. 

"What are you doing here, Dan?" I ask as I bring my hands back down to my side. 

"I'm gonna ask you the same thing, Phil." 

"I ran." 

"Me too." 

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It kinda ended abruptly.. Idk. I just wanted to publish this. I'm really excited about this story, it's really fun to write! And I'm writing  on the computer because I find that easier for me than on my phone where I get distracted. So there might be a few spelling errors because COMPUTERS DON'T HAVE AUTOCORRECT!!!! But I hope this chapter was gud. It is a lil bit shorter than most, but I didn't want to ruin it by adding more. I think it's good how I ended. 

Please leave a comment if you didn't like something, always looking for that constructive criticism. Also, leave a comment if you did like something, I love seeing if my stories actually are good or not ahahahah.

Keep on keepin' on, dudes? <3