shawn mendes imagines

Dancing On My Own

based on the song:)

Somebody said you got a new friend

Shawn and I broke up a few months ago, against my choice. I still loved him but he had moved on from me.

I was at one of my best friends weddings who's husband coincidentally was Shawn's best friend. The reception party was just starting and the newly wedded couple were dancing slowly in the middle of the dance floor, everybody's eyes on the swaying groom and bride.

Does she love you better than I can?

Shawn was directly opposite me in the circle, and his arm was around a girls waist. The jealousy was immediate and strong, and my stomach dropped like a stone. She was pretty and they both looked happy together.

There's a big black sky over my town

The other couples were now joining in, including Shawn and his new found love. They swayed slowly on the spot, foreheads pressed together and the tears were pricking the back of my eyes.

I know where you're at, I bet she's around

I wanted to talk to him, look at him without having him avoid my gaze. But it wasn't to be. I had lost sight of the couple anyway, and I didn't want to go looking for them. Seeing him with her made me sick to my stomach.

Yeah I know it's stupid, I just wanna see it for myself

I held my third glass of wine in my hand and gave in to the desire to find the two. I put down my glass and made my way to dance floor, blending in by dancing with all the drunk happy couples.

I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her

I caught sight of the two, near the middle of the dance floor, which was filled with dancing people, having a great time. Whilst I was stuck here with the worst thing I have probably every witnessed.

I sank to the corner of the floor, keeping an eye on them. They both danced to the opposite corner and, giggling, they pressed their lips together and stayed in the corner, kissing.

I'm right over here, why can't you see me?

The next hour I stayed in my corner, watching all the happy couples love each other while I was stuck, still in love with a boy who was in love with someone else. He had glanced into my corner a few times, his eyes merely slid over my body as if I weren't there. He was avoiding me, I thought bitterly. Why couldn't he just look at me properly?

I'm giving it my all but I'm not the girl you're taking home

I was back on the dance floor, not caring anymore about what anybody thought of me. I was 5 wine glasses deep and I wouldn't remember this when I woke up the next morning with an awful hangover. I only cared for him. But he only cared for her.

I keep dancing on my own.

He wasn't even paying attention to me, he wasn't even looking at me. He didn't love me anymore but I did, so so much. Why couldn't he see that? I needed him. But he needed her. I danced alone, with nothing but my own sorrows and sixth glass of wine. I didn't care. I didn't want to feel this upset anymore.

I just wanna dance all night

I danced with my wine bottle, drinking and sipping and desperately trying to not think about Shawn, or look over into their direction.

My friends knew I was upset and they knew I had drank a lot and were trying to coax me into coming back into a taxi with them. But I didn't want to. I hadn't finished my bottle of wine yet. I overheard them talking about getting Shawn to get me out. Stupid plan really, he wasn't even looking at me. He didn't care for me either anyway.

I'm all messed up, and so out of line

My heels were a bad idea for wearing tonight, as I was having trouble from staying up on my feet. But I wasn't aware that Shawn would even have a girlfriend here, or that I would drink almost two whole bottles of wine. They had tried to take the wine off me, my friends. They said that I was trying to drink myself to death. They didn't understand though. I was just trying to drink away my sadness.

All the wine I had consumed had really messed me up and I wasn't fully able of walking, let alone dancing but I continued. I wasn't going to stop for nothing. Relatives of the newly weds were looking at me, laughing. There was always one person at a wedding who just got so pissed it was funny. I realised with a jolt that that person was me.

Stilettos and broken bottles, I'm spinning around in circles

I was still swaying with my wine bottle. Well I thought I was swaying until I realised I was spinning, until I was too dizzy to even stand. I wobbled in my heels and fell to the ground, smashing the wine bottle as I fell.

There was a moment of silence where only the music could be heard but then everybody continued dancing, and I was irrelevant once more. I lay on the floor, in a pool of my own tears and wine.

Then my name was called, several times. I looked up, expecting my friends to tell me that I was, yet again, too drunk, but was met with a pair of soft brown eyes. Shawn said my name softly before pulling me back up to my feet. He asked me if I was alright and if I needed help.

I looked at him blankly, wanting to say something but not wanting to at the same time, afraid of saying the wrong think accidentally.

And then the moment was gone, and he was taken from me by her. And I was taken from him by my friends, who were looking at me in concern, also asking repeatedly if I was alright.

And I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her

I looked back up, to see that yet again Shawn and her were making out in the corner of the reception room. I don't know why I was so surprised. He was here with her, not me. He loves her, not me.

So far away, but still so near

He was physically only a few meters in front of me. But he might as well have been several light years away. They looked at each other like they couldn't live without the other. The way Shawn and I used to look at each other.

It was almost 2 in the morning and the last few songs were playing. And just to taunt me, Shawn and I's song came on. I saw him freeze slightly once he recognised the tune of the old Ed Sheeran song.

I caught his eye and he looked at me with his soft chocolate brown eyes. The second he looked into my tear filled eyes, he looked away immediately, seemingly embarrassed at me crying. That or he didn't want her to worry.

He didn't look at me at all for the last few songs.

The lights come in, the music dies

There was a collective groan from everyone once the lights came back on and everyone was asked to leave.

But you don't see me standing here

I stumbled towards him, stopping a small distance away from him and waited for him to notice me. But he was too busy kissing her.

Only when they broke apart, and I saw a shiny promise ring, similar to my one that I never take off on my right ring finger, did he notice me standing there.

He grabbed her and the walked away, leaving me standing there, fiddling with the ring that I refused to put on my left ring finger, because I insisted to leave it for when I got married. I hoped to him.

I let the tears fall as I saw him look at her as he left the wedding, his hand intertwined with hers, and his face so full of love for her. She shivered and he took of his blazer and gave it to her without a second thought, whilst I stood there with my tears falling like a waterfall down my face, and he still only had eyes for her.

I opened my mouth to say something when he looked back at me. But he gave me a look that just said 'don't bother'.

I just came to say goodbye