shawn mendes imagines

Drunk Mistakes

Shawn was out again, he had been going out a lot over the past few months and had come back completely wasted. Over the past few weeks he had been going out almost daily. Tonight was no different.

I was worried about him, as I always was, and I was waiting up for him as I usually did. It was well past two when he finally stumbled in, belligerently drunk.

Usually I would physically check that he was okay but tonight I was so done with it and I was tired, so once I saw he entered and was alive, I rose and left to our bedroom.

"Where are you going?" He asked, slurring his words.

"To bed. I've already wasted enough time waiting up for you." I said, without turning around.

"Hey, wait." He said, running to catch up with me "why don't we do something else?" He smirked, putting his large hands on my hips. "You know, something more... worthwhile." He said, leaning down and breathing on my neck.

I almost gave into his little game but I caught a whiff of his breath that stank of alcohol and was brought back to my senses.

"No." I said, "you're pissed enough as it is."

"Aw come on, princess, just this once?" He said, nibbling at my earlobe.

"No." I said again, pushing him away from me "I don't want to."

He sighed and took a step away from me.

"You're no fun. Lauren was happy to do things with me earlier." He said.

I froze at his words. I slowly turned to face him, tears burning the back of my eyeballs.

"What?" I asked slowly, desperately hoping he didn't mean what he said.

"You heard me. Lauren was more than happy to let my hands all over her." He said spitefully.

"W-what do you mean?" I stammered, "how long have you been doing this for?"

"A few weeks." He admitted, now realising he probably shouldn't have told me when he was drunk.

I turned from him and ran to our bathroom, locking the door behind me. Usually he would come after me, and try and find out what's wrong. But, there were not footsteps following me, and no knocks on the door.

I gripped the edge of the sink, staring at my tear stained face in the mirror, taking deep gulps of air to try and calm myself down.

I should've known. He loved Lauren. He probably never stopped. I was a distraction. He never loved me.

I denied the thoughts. I knew he loved me, he had told me numerous times. But, what if his words were fake? I felt sick, physically sick and I barely got to the toilet before I neatly vomited everything I had eaten that day down the toilet.

He can't have. But he has. I sat on the white tiled floor that we had both bought together and ran my fingers over the coolness of it. I remembered after we bought the house. We have sex on the bed together and then he asked if we could have sex on every surface we had here. I was about to giggle at the memory but it got stuck in my throat. He told me he loved me so much it scared him that day. Had he been lying there as well?

I couldn't stay here. Not with him. He was toxic for me, I couldn't do it. I mentally decided that I would leave, for good. I would pack and leave in the morning as it was far too late now, and besides, I wanted just one more night with Shawn.

I crept out of the bathroom as silently as I could and made our way back to our bedroom. As I was approaching the door, I heard his soft snores come from the other side of the closed door and I couldn't help but smile to myself. But I then remembered. I couldn't smile like this anymore. I couldn't hear his soft snores anymore.