Sleep evades me entirely as I stare at the door flabbergasted. My feet trudge against the floor and depositing myself onto the couch, I cross both my legs and arms with Zander's words echoing in my head loud and clear as if someone set off our conversation on repeat.
What the hell? How could Zander KNOW? And that's if he knows!
Raking my brain to recall anything I've done or said in the past to give myself away I come up short. Am I so supremely awkward that I give myself away by just being little old me?
Yesterday's events flash through my mind once again; my verbal declaration to admit everything to Zander seemed like such a good idea but now...I grudgingly admit to feeling at a loss; I no longer have the upper-hand to meddle with Zander's affair in secret and to top everything, the ball is no longer in my court - Zander probably knows everything about me now.
Even if our friendship is growing, everything seems to be happening way too fast that I can't keep up! I've met his parents, his sister, his best friend, his Dad's secretary, got invited to a party on behalf of Gwen and live next door as his neighbour. I've become so submerged into Zander's life that it's all crashing down on me before I can even stop and figure out where to draw the line.
"Are there really no boundaries?" I mumble out to no one in particular.
Zander's aware of the one secret (besides my identity as a Matchmaker) I've kept bottled up tight; I had lost a dear friend, was severely bullied and mourned for my family all alone. I've laid everything hidden out for him to discern and he's walked right into my life to stay. He chose to enter into an emotionally broken girl's life, yes a girl, I could never refer to myself as a woman, not yet anyways; I just don't feel accomplished enough to give myself that title. And it's a girl's trauma I'm carrying with me, so until I've come to terms with a bleak past, I'll never become Catherine, the woman.
Meanwhile, Zander must be surrounded by strong, independent women or socialites but he picked a girl who's pretty much penniless and friendless. And these very thoughts make my eyes well up with tears, and swallowing hard I look up to the ceiling, staring at the blank white space, my body going numb.
I'm undeserving of Zander.
Sighing heavily, I shut my eyes momentarily and put my frantic mind to rest before going about my morning routine, changing into 'proper' clothes since I can't spend the entire day in duck pyjamas, I set out with an agenda - I'm going to confront Zander. Walking into the kitchen with a heavy heart, I throw on an apron and decide to bake at least a dozen cupcakes and a chocolate cake to ease some of my anxiety.
The cake entirely for myself to consume.
After nearly two hours of baking, I wipe the sweat on my brow and smile weakly at my efforts. The cupcakes and cake turned out extremely well, better than I could imagine but now I have nothing else to distract me from my depressive thoughts. Sighing miserably, I make a cup of tea and grab a cupcake to go along with a slice of toast and nibble on my small breakfast, not having an appetite for once.
YOU ARE READING
The Matchmaker
RomanceCatherine Lewis is a shy, unsophisticated twenty-one year old with a secret. She's the most prominent matchmaker for the elite, the parents of the rich and famous come to her. But who will give her advice on love when she encounters the son of the...