Safer in the Forest (A Sirius Black Fanfic)

Chapter 15: Eridanus

"In the city of light, the stars are blind. Our constellations do not reside in the skies." –R.J. Arkhipov

***

When Sirius wakes up, he's in his own bed. For a moment, he feels himself deflate, thinking that seeing Cassie again was just a dream. But then he feels someone stir next to him and rolls over, his heart leaping at the sight of Cassie sleeping next to him.

He's also dressed in his pajamas—as is Cassie—but he can't remember Apparating back here from the meadow.

Sirius glances at the clock. It's three thirty in the morning. Disgusting. But now that he's awake and someone he hasn't seen in fourteen years is asleep next to him, he can't fall into slumber again. He can only trace her scar again and again until she beings to wake.

"I didn't mean to wake you up," he says as she rubs her eyes.

"It's okay," she says.

"That's my sweatshirt." He recognizes the Gryffindor hoodie as his because of the holes he cut in the sleeves so his thumbs could stick out.

"You gave it to me before I went to America," Cassie reminds him. "It still smells like you."

"Did you bring us back here last night?"

Cassie nods. "We almost fell asleep in the meadow, but I couldn't sleep because of the sunlight, so I brought us back. You were only half-conscious."

That explains why he doesn't remember much.

"I dunno if you were there long enough, but did you ever feel like there was something under your skin?" Sirius doesn't have to say anything further.

Cassie is nodding. "Like something extra. Sometimes you would see out of someone else's eyes because you were questioning who you were becoming or who you were before."

"And I started to feel guilty," he continues, finally able to talk to someone who will understand. "I relived those few moments of dueling in my head and thought, 'did I want to kill him?' I thought, towards the end, that yes, I did. I still do."

"You won't find a soul in this house who doesn't."

"Did you ever see things out your window? I used to stare out it constantly, especially when I first got there. I thought I saw James. I thought I saw you. I thought I saw myself, like a mirror. When I escaped, all I could think about was how much I didn't want to go back. But I made myself do risky things like trying to find Pettigrew because otherwise I would've been locked up all those years for nothing."

"How did you escape?" Cassie wonders. "I assume it had something to do with the fact that you're still an un-fucking-registered Animagus?"

Sirius laughs. "Yes, actually. Eventually, I got thin enough that, as a dog, I could slip through the bars of my cell. But I didn't do it that way. I transformed right before the dementors opened my cell to give me dinner, and I slipped past them as a dog. Dementors can't see; they rely on feelings to guide them, and those of a dog are different than a human. They didn't sense it."

Cassie just shakes her head, but the grin on her face is prideful. "Sirius Black, sneaking out of Azkaban and risking getting caught as an unregistered Animagus—which, by the way, would land you a sentence that's legitimate—to find his nemesis and kill him."

"You would do it, too."

"Like hell I would."

Sirius kisses her softly and says quietly, "Cassiopeia."

"What?"

"What's your middle name?"

"Angelica."

"That's pr—" Sirius stops short as he realizes something with a gasp. "Your initials spell Cas!"

Cassie laughs. "I know. That's why I let you call me that."

"Well when were you planning on telling me your middle name?"

"Whenever you asked."

"Cas!" Sirius flops down on the bed, laughing hysterically at his new discovery. He hasn't laughed this hard since before he went to Azkaban.

"Why does that amuse you so much?"

"I think it's the fact that I've been calling you Cas your whole life, and you never felt the need to tell me that I was basically calling you a shortened version of your full name. I might as well of been calling you Cassiopeia Angelica Sanger instead of Cas."

They both just laugh for a while until their cheeks hurt because they haven't been stretched this way in so long.

"C'mere, Cas." Sirius pulls her towards him until her head is resting on his chest. "I'm going to dream of us. And it's going to be the best sleep I've had in a decade."

Cassie puts an arm across his middle. "Count me in."

"Live here with me?"

"Might as well."

"I love you, Cas."

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