Fuck It - I like you

I Remember...

I remember you stealing my pencil box.

I remember "picking flowers" behind the chemistry room.

I remember late night facebook messages about everything and nothing, about reverse psychology and burning witches. And I remember the love heart emojis, blue was my favourite.

I remember, confusion.

I remember breaking your heart. Well I can't be certain I did, but I'm sorry.

I remember flirting like primary schoolers, playing tag on a school field trip. I remember watching the waves by your side on a boat. I remember being stranded with you, by an old street piano. I remember walking over countries with you, and you holding my hand and I jumped from log to log. I remember looking at you from my seat on the bus, wishing I was next to you. 

I remember you leaving. I remember sadness and confusion. I remember trying to move on.

I remember the shock of your return and realising that I hadn't moved on after all. I remember watching fireworks with you. You made me smile all night.

I remember not being over you, not one little bit.

I remember my days revolving around you, I remember trying to get you to notice me from across the class. I remember making a fool out of myself and feeling like an idiot. I remember trying so hard and never really being sure if my feelings were returned. I remember being disappointed when you weren't there.

I remember trust falling with you and following the sound of your voice. I remember wearing your watch and you wearing mine. I remember your taped up shoe. I remember you holding me tight with your arms around me as I stood on tip toes with my arms around you. 

I remember checkered shirts and fireworks. 

Bright blue eyes and a wide smile. 

I remember not wanting to fall back in love with you, because of all the hurt and confusion and time wasted from the first two times. And I hope I'm not slipping back again.