Twenty Øne Piløts Saved My Life.

Mental Illness

After recently finding out in late 2012 about my Uncle I didn't go back to school in the new year. I quit dance. I didn't know how to live anymore. I barely ate, I barely left my bed, rarely left the house. I started self harm, Zoe was my only friend through this time.

In early March 2013, my parents decided to take me to the doctor. They couldn't handle seeing me so upset. That's when I was diagnosed with Dysthymia. A mild case of depression. The doctors said it wouldn't last long and gave options on how to help.

I went back to school in late April 2013, I wanted to finish grade 7 and make my uncle proud even though he wasn't alive anymore. Nobody noticed I was gone for so long they all forgot about me. When I came back Lily would bother me about my self harm scars. A lot of people called me a freak.

Once again I stopped going to school and my mom homeschooled me when she could. That's when I attempted suicide the first time. My
mom had to go to work and I was home alone. My dad came home just in time and found me. He rushed me to the hospital so fast. I was in a coma for 2 days after that. I don't remember much but I saw a counsellor every once in a while who recommended I go back to the doctor. She told me I didn't have symptoms of dysthymia and that I could be much worse.

So eventually my dad took me with him to one of his appointments and we both talked to the doctor together. That's when I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder(MDD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder(PTSD).

Everyday was a challenge, I couldn't talk to my parents, the only person I trusted was my uncle. I kept things bottled up for a long time. I never told my counsellor anything. I was on medications like no tomorrow, and I self harmed quite a lot.

In the summer of 2013, my brother and I flew out to British Columbia to visit our Aunt. She was very lonely in a big house by herself all the time. We spent an entire two months visiting her. She even bought me a mule and I named her Reba. I kept Reba at her friends farm. My mule was my best friend and whenever my aunt went to work I'd take a bus to go up and see her. One night my aunt and I went to go get our nails done. The lady that did our nails was my aunts best friend. Her name is Nancy. She's a really nice lady. Nancy has two daughters. Allyssa and Hannah. They became my best friends and we hung out and went to the farm all the time through out the summer.

The last week of my summer vacation I knew I didn't want to leave. British Columbia is a beautiful province. The Rocky Mountains were so calming and I felt like I was at home when I was there. I knew I was going to have a hard time leaving. I cried the entire flight home.

In the fall I started grade 8. It was a pretty easy year, although I was still bullied and called names all the time I kept going to school and I graduated in June 2014 with the kids I grew up with most my life. At graduation, I found out that Charlotte was moving across the country. Her and I weren't going to experience high school together. The following summer was boring, I didn't get to say goodbye to Charlotte. Her parents just wanted to move out of there.

Sophia messaged me one night and asked if I wanted to go to a party. I knew if I asked my parents that they would say no, so I just packed an overnight bag and left. If they needed me they could text me. Sophia and I weren't really great friends but I never went to a party before. My first party I was drunk. I love partying. I made a lot of new friends. Sophia and I became really great friends, we have been friends ever since. Sophia stopped hanging out with Lily when she found out that Lily was the reason why I was always getting bullied.