The Hood Diaries

Chapter 14: Love Conquers All?

"It's positive. What does yours say?" I ask Traci, hoping that hers reads the same.

"Mines is negative. I'm sorry girl. But I promise you, it's not the end of the world."

"Yes it is, I had plans! I wanted to go to college, get out of this hood. How am I going to do that with a freaking baby?!" I fall to the bathroom floor more shocked than anything.

"I know it seems bad now. But at least you have a family that will support you through it all. That's more than what I had." Traci says trying to comfort me.

"Family? You think Trisha is going to let me live with her after she finds out I'm pregnant? She only let me live with her because she thinks I have a future. I'm not even sure if she's my biological mother."

"From what I've seen, I don't think she'd kick you out because your pregnant. She doesn't seem like that type of woman."

"Well I'm not taking that chance. I'm finally getting it together. I'm finally settling into my new reality, I'm not gonna shake things up for a life of uncertainty. I'm not keeping it."

"What?! After what I told you about my experience, you just gon up and get rid of it!?" She says standing up.

"Exactly, that's YOUR experience not mine! what the hell do you expect me to do with a baby? Are you going to help me take care of it? Are you going to wake up every two hours to feed it? Will you buy pampers, bottles, clothes, milk?"

Traci just stands there and looks to the side in avoidance.

"I thought so." I say grabbing my keys and purse and storming out the room.

"Your going to do it now?! Don't you want to think about it first." Traci says following me downstairs.

"There is nothing to talk about. I'm going to make an appointment to get this thing out of me as soon as possible before anyone finds out."

"Your not even gonna talk about it with Ca'tye?"

I stop dead in my tracks at the bottom of the stairs and stare at the door. After a few seconds I open the door and storm to my car. As I open my car door I notice a folded piece of paper on my windshield, with my name on it.

Traci walks up to me and grabs the letter.

"Its from Ca'tye." She says

I snatch the letter from her and open it.

Hey Beautiful,

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be writing, but I know I should be writing it. It wouldn't be fair to you if I didn't leave you with at least a reason. I've managed to ruin everything good in my life, including you. I know you think that I blame you but I swear to you, I don't. It was my decision to roll with Rodney's crew and what happened to my family wouldn't have happened if I wasn't so stupid. I said what I said to you at the hospital because I was scared and hurt and I'm man enough to admit that. This wasn't your fault, it was mine, all mine. Had I not been hanging with Rodney my family would be alive. And I've accepted that. But knowing that I have nothing left in this world makes it harder to live in, especially knowing that I've caused all of it. Please don't take this as me trying to win you back with pity. It's over between us and I get that now. I just want you to know that I love every inch of you and me choosing the easy way out isn't your fault either. It's just a means to an end.

-Tye

I look at the letter in confusion. The easy way out? He can't possibly be talking about what I think he's talking about.

"What does it say?" Traci says. I'm so lost in my thoughts I forget she's there.
I hand her the letter and jump in my car and speed off with out another word.