The Hood Diaries

Chapter 5: Someone New

As I watch my brother get into the car with Rodney, I stand there dumb founded. My brother is hanging out with Rodney, selling drugs. Me and Craig stand there for a minute or two before he speaks.

"Shondrah.. we should get going." He says putting his hand on my shoulder

"Look Craig, I wanna be alone right now. I'll talk to you later."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I just need to clear my head." I say walking away.

"Shondrah... Just be careful!" he yells after me.

I know I shouldn't have left like that but I just don't care anymore. Everything is going wrong and there is nothing I can do about it.

After an hour of walking and not really paying attention to where Im going, I find myself in front of my house. I think of whether or not I should go into to what was once my home. I look in the drive way and I don't see Joe's car, so why not? I know I shouldn't go in but I'm exhausted and I just want to lay down in peace and quiet.

I pull my keys out of my purse and go to unlock the door, but the big letters saying EVICTION NOTICE on a pink sheet of paper pauses me. I tear down the paper and go inside. It smells like spoiled food and old socks. The rent hasn't been paid and apparently neither was the light bill.

I rummage through some cabinets and find a few candles. I head into the bathroom and run the water, filling up the tub. At least the hot water still works; I soak in the tub and listen to Rihanna- What Now on replay. For a few minutes I sit there and cry my eyes out. How could my life be such a mess? How could my own mother abandon us like that? After a few minutes of mental self torture I get dressed and head to bed. It feels good to lay in my own bed tonight. It begins to rain and that's all I needed to drift off to sleep.

*The Dream Realm

I see myself floating in a sea of water. I look around and see no one or anything for that matter. Suddenly it hits me that I was with a little boy.

I look to my left then the right and nothing. I look down into the water and see him slowly sinking. I dive down and grab him. When we resurface we are now in a river in a tropical forest. I pull us out of the river using a branch, the boy in my hands coughs up water.

"Are you okay?" I ask feeling concerned

"Yea, I told you not to look back" he says trying to catch his breath.

"Sorry, I couldn't help it."

"Its okay"

"Who was that chasing us?"

"It wasn't really a who, but a what." He says squeezing water out of his shirt.

"So what was chasing us?"

"You mean chasing you"

"Me? Why was it chasing me?" I ask feeling challenged and a little scared.

"Your guilty"

"Guilty? Guilty of what?"

"Only you know that. The thing that was chasing you, was chasing you because it smelled your guilt. So why are you guilty?"

"I.. I don't know"

He begins to walk away. I try to follow but I can't. For some reason I don't move.

"Why can't I move?"

"Because your not being true to yourself, if you can't be real with yourself than who else will?"

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. I look at the clock on the wall and its 6:50 am. I get up and get dressed in black leggings with leather pockets, a big fashion grey sweatshirt that says trill on it, my cool grays, and my dreads in a high pony tail then head to school. Thank God its finally Friday.