my poems

why do i still love you

Kyler, this hurts me so bad and I know it hurts you too. I just need a chance to talk to you please, I'm begging you. What happened? We were best friends...we were in love, then one day, we weren't. You don't know the whole story about the North Carolina thing and I need to explain that to you...I didn't want to tell anyone, but if that's why you're treating me like this, I'll tell you. The Colton thing was because you hurt me and I wanted to get back at you. It was a dumb mistake and I regretted it the minute it happened. Why are you acting like you don't care for me when I, and everyone else, knows you do? I know about you telling Mamie you can't stop thinking about me. I know about you calling Ellie "Jilli". I know you still have that picture of us up, and that your heart hurts just as much as mine does right now. I'm not asking anything of you except for a chance to talk. I don't want to break you and Ellie up (well, yeah I kind of do) but if you're happy then I'm happy for you, even if I'm not the reason. Please just don't treat me like nothing happened between us and you don't care. People tell me how you look at me when I'm not looking, yet your eyes refuse to meet mine. Is it because of her or because of me or just because you're tired and I don't blame you if that's it. I'm tired too though. I'm tired of getting hurt. You're the one who I thought wouldn't hurt me and today you broke me. You broke all the hope I've ever had and all the promises you've ever made me. Before you make your decision about talking to me or not, remember the letters, look at our pictures, and remember the way you smiled when I kissed you. Remember us and being hopelessly in love, despite everyone saying it's wrong. Maybe it was...but I just need you to tell me. Just please never make a promise you can't keep again...everything in me is gone, Kyler, I'm trying to find hope again and get rid of this empty feeling but it's near impossible when I'm reminded the one person who was never supposed to leave left. You don't care anymore. You've turned into someone I don't recognize and I freaking miss you. Everyone does. People have literally told me to break you and Ellie up because they don't like her and how she makes you and they want their friend back. The Kyler I know is this great, awesome guy who would do any thing for someone he loves. He's perfectly imperfect and had amazing freckles in eyes. He loves unconditionally and expects nothing short of love in return. He's short tempered and angers easily, but only because he cares. I love this boy. If he's not you anymore, then okay, but please change for the better.