Pop Life: Volume 3

Chapter 4

Since my mom was at work and I was left with Mr. John's honest opinion my thoughts began to torture me. All throughout the afternoon I was asking myself if working out whatever this thing is that me and Prince are now in is even really worth it. This was what I had always been afraid of when it came to me and him becoming something more than just friends. The strain of a relationship gone stale now affecting the friendship. Would we even remain friends after all of this? Would we even speak again? Does he still care about me like he said he does? All of this is new to me. I never had to ask these questions when it came to Marcus because Marcus only had me around to add to his image. He cares about the flash and how he presented himself to the public as a nice guy. That nice guy image was just his outside. Inside he was a heartless man with no compassion. No soul. Just a shell. A monster. A monster that continues to haunt me and strike the fear into my heart and tear apart my life. Prince was my hero. Yeah was. I don't know what we are and why we are. But that's just it. We're just......are. I didn't even bother to eat my fruit like I wanted to because all I could think about the loneliness I felt when Prince and I weren't even sleeping in the same room anymore. I missed him so badly but whenever I wanted to talk he didn't. The separation between was getting to me and I was getting tired of being rejected. I was backed into a corner. Hopefully it won't upset him too much if I left the compound but I needed my space. I sat in my room and put on my Simply Red album. I was doing alright until the song I'll Keep Holding On began to play. The pictures from the carnival laying on my nightstand caught my attention as the song played. The last picture at the bottom really got me misty eyed the more I looked at what used to be. It was tearing me up inside that this was us. This was my best friend. The one person who introduced me to a new world that I was too afraid to explore on my own. What happens to us? What happened to him? Did I lose him the night he thought he lost Andre? As many times as I tried to find out he would push me away. I'm tired of waiting. I need to know why he's treating me differently. I just have to figure out how to get through to him while I'm at home. I laid in my bed holding on to little skippy and remembering the man that had stolen my heart from the moment he kissed me. What's a girl to do? I've never been in a situation before. It's all too real. Just when I continued to fall deeper into my confusion there was loud knock at the door. I turned off my stereo and listened again just to confirm that it was my door someone was knocking on. The loud knocking continued as I got up from the bed and went downstairs to answer the door.

"Who is it?" I asked approaching the door.

"It's Prince. Open the door Regan."

My heart stopped almost instantly. I take it he got my note. I wanted so badly to keep myself from smiling because he was right outside but I couldn't. When I opened the door I was pushed out of the way. He is face red with anger and disappointment as he came inside.

  "What the hell were you thinking?" He screamed at me.

I closed the door as I glared at him.

  "Well geez hello to you too!" I said to him.

  "You shouldn't have left! You know that clown is still out there and you left without telling me! That was stupid Regan and you know it!"

I was beginning to get upset when I knew I had to stop myself before I ended up saying something that I would regret.

  "So now you wanna worry when all week you've been avoiding me like I was the one that did something wrong! I couldn't take it anymore so yes I left and came home without you!"

He was getting more annoyed for whatever reason as he looked around the corner to the living room. Then he turned his attention back to me.

  "Who's here with you?" He asked.

  "Nobody. My mom is at work. She doesn't know I'm back."

  "But there was someone here. You're back door is unlocked."

  "Yes you're father was here a few hours ago. He thought you came with me."

He looked me up and down. His eyes weren't like the warm and loving color that I had grown accustomed to. They were a deep brown almost black tone. His sweet voice now a harsh slur of hurtful words and short sentences.

  "You're lying." He said to me.

  "What would I lie for?" I asked him getting very mad and extremely offended.

He didn't answer. He just raced up the stairs and to my bedroom. I ran after him so I could watch his insecurity prove him wrong. He looked like a mad man looking under my bed and in my closet. When he got back to the window he noticed the picture frame faced down on the nightstand next to my bed. Before he picked it up I stopped him.

  "Still think there's somebody here?" I snapped at him.

He scanned my face looking for tears but I couldn't give him any. I had cried so much for him to notice me the last few days that I was out of tears. We stood there and stared at each other. After 30 seconds I was over it. Whatever was happening to us I didn't care anymore. I went back downstairs and out the back door to the treehouse and climbed to the top. Pulling myself in the rest of the way without the last step I laid on the pile of blankets. It wasn't long before I heard the sound of my back door slamming closed in the summer air and the sound of Prince climbing up the ladder. When I saw his hand get to the top before the rest of him I turned away from the door and faced the back wall that was covered in pictures of my young past.

  "Regan?"

  "Nelson?"

  "Why was this face down next to you're bed? Is there someone else?"

His voice now soft as if his heart had been broken. I turned to him and looked at the frame in his hand. My eyes then fell on his face as his eyes were focused on the picture frame.

  "Why would there be someone else Prince?"

"You left. And didn't tell me."

  "I didn't tell you because you've been avoiding me."

He sighed and flipped the picture over.

  "I'm sorry. I guess I've been pretty out of it since Andre....."

Now we're getting somewhere.

  "Then you should go see him."

  "I can't."

  "Why not? He's your friend."

  "I can't see him in there like that."

  "Well whether you want to or not I'm sure he would be pretty pissed off if his best friend didn't come and see him at the hospital."

His sad eyes finally fell into mine. I took the frame from his hand and looked at the picture of me and Prince when we had just graduated from high school. His big smile holding his diploma and hugging me tightly as I also stood in his arms smiling beside him.

  "I turned that pictures down because I miss how we used to be. You've completely shut me out and it's not like I had hurt you it was for no reason."

His hands met my face and he pulled me in gently for a passionate kiss. It was so unexpected that I couldn't bring myself to move. I clutched the picture in my hands tightly. He pulled away and whispered to me as a single tear had fallen.

  "I'm sorry."