Side.

Side. - Chapter 11

Chapter 11.

Pain. The only thing I felt at the moment he said those words, was pain. I could feel tears burning in my eyes while my chest was aching. I nearly dropped my phone by hearing Harry saying those words.

“N-n-othing?” I managed to choke out after a few seconds of silence. “Yes Demi-Rose,” He said, using my full name. When someone called me by my full name, he or she always sounded so serious. Normally I never liked it when someone called me ‘Demi-Rose’, but when Harry called me by that, it actually wasn’t a problem to me. Except now.

“We’re nothing. Did you think we’d be…” Harry sounded so determined at the first part of his sentence. I could hear he was debating whether to finish his sentence or not, but I already knew what he wanted to say and I didn’t want to hear it, being afraid more pain would go through me. “No, no, no,” I said quickly, “I just that that… I don’t know, we can get along, right?” My heart was pounding against my chest. Was it because of the nerves, or maybe anxiety?

“Yeah, that’s true, maybe we are friends,” Harry said, “I don’t even know to be honest.” Neither do I know. “But maybe we shouldn’t get this any further.” “Oh.” Was the only thing I could say, knowing that if I’d say more I’d break down in tears. “I think it’s the best.” I didn’t hesitate for a second and pressed the red button on my phone, hanging up before falling back onto my bed and let the tears fall.

I wish I never told him that I told Emily.

Harry’s POV.

The second I heard a long beep, meaning that Demi-Rose hang up on me, I immediately felt like shit. I could even cry, but I didn’t feel like to. I guess I didn’t have the energy to either. I sighed deep before letting my forehead lean on the palms of my warm hands, and placed my elbows on my knees. What the fuck had I done? I’ve always liked her, since the day I met her. Every time I hoped I could get to know her better. But on the other side, I told myself to stay away from her. Then I didn’t want to get her know her better. I didn’t want Demi-Rose to get in the same shit as what Kimberly got in. Since the first day I told myself, “Stay away from the girl, or else it will only get harder to stay away from her and at long last she’ll get in the same problems as Kimberly.”

I looked up from the floor when I heard Louis walking into the living room. “Hey,” He greeted me with a bright smile. “Are you coming with me?” “To do what?” I asked as I stood up, straightening my back so I didn’t look weak and that I could break any time. “To the club of course.” Louis replied with a chuckle as he pushed his arms through the sleeves of his dark denim jacket. “No.” I said as I hid my face behind the door of the fridge as I opened it. I didn’t want Louis to see there was something wrong. I made myself a glass of water before I sat back down on the couch.

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked as he took a seat next to me. A sigh escaped my mouth before wrapping my lips around the edge of the cold glass, taking a sip of the liquor. I looked up to my best friend, his face worried. I sighed again, knowing that I couldn’t withhold it from him.

“You saw that girl this morning, didn’t you?” I started. “Yeah, why?” That’s when I felt my cheeks turning a light shade of red, and a weird feeling appeared in my stomach. “I… I like her, I guess, but..” I didn’t know how to describe my feelings about Demi. I liked her, but I didn’t know in what kind of way. Just a friend? A nice girl? Or did I have any, like, love feelings towards her? I was actually sure that she wasn’t ‘just a friend’ to me. 

“It’s that you’re afraid that the same will happen to her, right?” Louis spoke, and I immediately knew where he was talking about, so I just nodded. 

“Yeah, that’s difficult mate.” Louis replied with a sigh, causing me to growl. Louis was the worst when it was about getting advice. “What am I supposed to do?” I asked him despite his shit advice. Louis stood up, but I followed him with my eyes like a little kid. “Well, that’s up to you Harry.” Louis said with a sigh, I knew that I was slightly annoying him by telling me my ‘problems’ where he actually didn’t want to know anything about. 

“If you think it’s better not to see each other anymore because of the Zayn Kimberly thing, then just don’t.” I didn’t even tell him that I was thinking about leaving Demi alone, yet he told me something like he could read my mind. “But if you think you really need to see her, ,you know, then do it.” “But what about Zayn?” I wondered out loud. I felt glad that he didn’t need an explanation about anything to give me ‘advice’, he just kinda knew where I was talking about. 

“I’m sure he’s up to something if Demi-Rose and I hang out more.” I muttered, actually more to myself. “Keep them away from each other.” Louis stated. “Hm.” I mumbled, not feeling like opening my mouth to say something back. I looked down and nervously and desperately started to pick my finger nails, while seeing Louis watching me from the corner of my eye. 

“So, what are you gonna do?” Louis asked. I knew that he actually didn’t want to hear anything about it, but he didn’t want to leave me alone either. He was actually a brother to me. “I don’t know,” I said with a sigh, “Maybe she doesn’t want to see me anymore.” I really regretted telling Demi that we were ‘nothing’. “Why wouldn’t she?” Louis asked. “I think I hurt her feelings…” Now I started to even more realize what I had said to Demi. “Oh Harry,” Louis said while rubbing his forehead, “What the fuck have you done?!” “I said that we were ‘nothing’…” I replied while running my fingers through my brown locks. “Did you mean it?” I stood up and felt my blood streaming faster through my veins. “Of course not.” I growled back, full of anger and disappointed, to myself. 

Of course I didn’t mean it when I said that we were ‘nothing’. I did want to be more than ‘just friends’, I guess. But I just said it because I knew that Demi-Rose shouldn’t be around me, even though I wanted her to be around me. Demi already met Zayn , so I knew he’d be up to do something to her. 

“Ask her if she wants to give you one more chance.” Louis suggested. “I’m sure she won’t.” I stated. “if you don’t try then you won’t know it.” Louis said annoyingly before he left the living room. In a few seconds I heard the front door fall shut, causing me raise my fist and hit everything I could reach. Blood and pieces of glass being left on my knuckles and on the floor. 

How could I be so stupid?