Side.

Side. - Chapter 14

Chapter 14.

Harry’s POV. 

Regret. Hate. Worry. Pain. 

Those were the only feelings I felt those days. I regretted what I’d said to Demi-Rose, that we were ‘nothing’, which wasn’t true at all. But each time I tried to explain, she wouldn’t let me. She wanted me to leave her alone, that was obvious. And I hated it. I didn’t want to be away from her, I wanted to be by her side all the time, but she didn’t want me to come near her. I hated myself for not thinking before saying something. I never thought that only three words could change everything, but I was wrong. It was possible. 

Pain. I felt pain each time I saw her. I missed her, even though a part of my brain told me that wasn’t possible. How could you miss someone if you just told her that you were nothing? It’s not that it’s true that we’re nothing, well maybe it was. Maybe we weren’t nothing yet. The way she looked at me every time we saw each other... I couldn’t describe the feeling I got each time her beautiful face appeared in my view. It was hard to hold myself back from walking up to her, despite her demand, and wrap my arms around her small body, holding her close to me and tell her how sorry I was, how much I missed her and I’d explain her everything, I’d even tell her about Kimberly, than maybe she’d understand it more. But most of everything I wanted to say, wasn’t a real excuse. 

But most of all, I was worried. I was worried sick that she’d go to Zayn, talk to him and everything. Maybe it was the jealousy, but most of all I was worried. He wasn’t good. I knew people said that about me too and she finally didn’t believe any of that, and maybe it’d be the same to her about Zayn. I was sure that Demi wouldn’t listen to me, she’s way too stubborn, she’d surely go to Zayn’s, but I still hoped she wouldn’t. 

I was still wondering what Demi was doing in my neighbourhood that night, and what she actually wanted to tell me the morning after we slept with eachother... well, slept in the same bed. The thought of making love to her shouldn’t actually cross my mind, but I couldn’t help but think of it. At that moment I had realized that I saw her more than a ‘text buddy’, or friend, if I could call us like that, friends. But after I told her that we were nothing, I expected her not wanting us to be friends anymore, if we even were friends. I guess we were. 

I already knew that Zayn would be up to something to do, to irritate me, and to make me feel like shit again. He’d probably do the same thing to Demi as he did to Kimberly, and that was the last thing I wanted. I was so sure about Zayn taking revenge, again, even though I never did something wrong to him, I knew him too well, despite I never really hang out with my... enemy.

It was Thursday and I wasn’t sure if I would be able to avoid Demi for any more days or weeks. It had been hard, difficult and tough to not to speak to her, not to hear her laugh, not touch her. I wanted to be with her, but if I could only speak to her and tell her what happened a while ago, before we met, and explain everything, I’d be glad. I just wasn’t sure if she’d ever give me a chance again. I saw her every day and the thought of her not wanting me to come near her or even talk to her, hurt. 

Kimberly. The girl whom I met more than a year ago, but left a few months after. All because of me. Her life was ruined. Because of me. She became unhappy. Because of me. She probably doesn’t trust anyone anymore. Because of me.

I remember meeting her, the first time I saw her. Summer was over and the leaves started to fall from the trees. It was starting to get cold, colder and colder. I remember going to the park and seeing a girl, almost the same age as I, sitting on a bench. Her hair loosely hang over her shoulders as a white beanie was on the top of her head. Her pink lips were slightly parted as she looked down at her book, which was placed in her pale, yet blue from the cold, hands. I remember her letting out a chuckle before flipping the page, continuing to read her story. I didn’t hesitate for a moment and sat next to her on the bench, causing her to look up at me, a small, yet bright, smile appearing on her lips. I remember us introducing ourselves to each other before she closed her book and we started a conversation. I was surprised that she didn’t seem to be afraid or anything of me, since I was a boy with tattoos and might look dangerous. She didn’t seem to care about that. We talked until it started to rain, I took her with me to stand under a tree, causing her to laugh, so did I. We didn’t manage to stay dry from the rain, because after a few minutes she took my hand in her and pulled me away from under the tree and started dancing in the rain. I already loved her personality, even though I had met her only that day.