You And I

•Tears•

Waving a final goodbye, Denis bounded off the stage, enveloped in that strange mix of exhaustion and energy he got after every show. Sam followed, then Ben, Cameron and lastly, James. "That was great guys." Denis complimented, "you knocked it out of the park, Denny" Ben smiled, placing a hand on his bandmate's shoulder. Now, the guitarist may have been imagining things, but he was almost sure Denis had blushed at his response...."Uh, yeah, Denis, you were amazing out there!" James exclaimed. Ben smirked as the blush (he was sure it was there) he'd left on Denis' cheeks  faded, even with James' words.

"Thanks guys" Denis grinned. "So," Cameron prompted, "who's up for a drink?" The band cheered and set out for the nearest bar. Once again, Denis simply grabbed a Stella Artois and hid away on his own. Pulling out his phone and checking his social media, he was shocked at how many people were tagging him in the same photo...Curiously, he checked it out, a massive blush overtaking his face when he realized why he was tagged a billion times. It was a picture of Ben holding him close as they slept, just earlier that day.

There was an army of people in the comments saying suggestive things about Brustoff, or just simply putting the hashtag Brustoff. However, it wasn't so much the comments about Brustoff as it was the comments of support, that made him blush. They'd accept us...They'd still love us... He thought. Suddenly, Denis' eyes flew up, he felt very...jittery, it was as if someone was watching him, and indeed someone was. James leaned against a wall, somewhat close to Denis, but not close enough for him to be caught. James' had definitely out done himself that night, drinking far more than he should have and becoming ultimately smashed.

The drummer eyed Denis, looking him up and down. He didn't know if the Ukrainian was aware of how truly hot he was. From his fluffy, dark brown hair, to the ragged black converse on his feet, there was nothing James could find that didn't turn him on. He bit his lip, he wanted Denis so bad, but even with his mind as cloudy as it was, he knew he had to get Ben out of the way. Forming a plan that didn't even make sense in his head, he decided to approach Denis.

He attempted walking nonchalantly to the singer who-despite his sharp watch-was startled by his friend's hand landing on his shoulder. "Oh god" Denis gasped, "James, you scared me." James grinned sloppily in his very drunk state. "Heheha...s-sorry mate" Denis blinked, "jeez dude, how many drinks have you had?" Denis tried to make sense of James' gibberish, but was only sure of the word seven. "L-look *hic* I came to tell y-you that Ben" he paused, sluggishly pointing at said guitarist, "is soooooooo gonna get *hic* l-laid tonight."

Denis followed James' finger and found that Ben was rubbing all over a brunette girl who was barely wearing anything, a lot like the girl that had tapped his shoulder in the other bar. Denis could feel James trying to get his attention, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from Ben as memories of that night flashed vividly in his mind.

~~~~~

When he looked up, he met the full blue eyes of a woman who was uncomfortably close. Her large breasts were hardly covered by a bright pink bikini top and she was wearing a pair of extremely distressed UK shorts that didn't leave much to the imagination. "Hey cutie, whatcha doin' all alone over here?" She batted her false lashes flirtatiously and twirled a thin lock of obviously dyed platinum blonde hair around her fingers.

The vocalist cleared his throat and shifted awkwardly in discomfort, but as soon as he opened up his mouth to speak, Ben interrupted. "He's taken love, sorry." Denis looked at Ben with confusion. Ben winked at him mischievously and clasped their hands together. "What?! I don't believe you, prove it." She frowned. Ben slightly lost his nerve, "how?" The girl smirked, "kiss." Ben gulped, turning to Denis who looked just about as nervous as he felt. The vocalist shrugged and Ben nodded, "ok-kay...."

Denis tilted his head and leaned forward, closing his eyes as he felt Ben's lips on his own.

~~~~~

Denis gulped, pushing James away and shoving through the crowd towards Ben. He planned on telling him that he couldn't do that to him, that he wasn't allowed to, but instantly lost all confidence as he realized that Ben wasn't his. He could do whatever he wanted because he wasn't his. He could ignore Denis because he wasn't his. He could bang that brunette right there because he wasn't his. Denis didn't realize how close he'd gotten until Ben looked up in shock, "Denis?" Not knowing what else to do, Denis ran away in tears, just like he had before, except this time, Ben didn't chase him.

When he reached the bus, no one else was there, leaving him alone with his thoughts. Sobs filled the open air as he tried to drown out that voice in the back of his head, telling him everything he didn't want to hear. Whispering every truth that he struggled not to drown in, directly into his ear.

You ran away crying again because you couldn't face Ben.

Coward.

Baby.

You're all alone in this bus because no one cares about you.

Forgotten.

Lonely.

You can't even move on from someone who doesn't love you.

Unwanted.

Hated.

"Stop!" Denis sobbed, "Stop, stop!" His throat was raw by the time the voice stopped, dead, hollow silence haunting the air around him. The painful realization hit Denis so hard, that it actually hurt. Ben didn't love him. He was probably more in love with that one night stand back at the club than he was with Denis. "Why did I let him do it?" Denis croaked out. "Why did I let him take my blades? I need them...." The singer curled into a ball in his bunk with the curtains shut while he cried.

Dreadful things crept into his mind, silently torturing him as he let out every tear he had hidden. However, somehow unknown by the singer, despite the pain, he still loved Ben. Deep down he knew, he could never move on from Ben.