Do I Belong? (Bleach)

Like I Said-I Can Only Handle So Much

I stared up at Joo, as she sat on her throne.

She stared silently back. We were waiting to see who would speak first.

I sighed in annoyance, finally speaking. We wouldn't get anywhere if someone doesn't speak.

"What information did you want out of my Captain?"

Joo raised an eyebrow, mocking me. "That's the first thing you say to me after seeing him? Not, 'let him go' or 'release us at once'. I'm shocked."

I ground my teeth in frustration. I can't let her get on my nerves. That's what she wants. "Just answer the question." 

Joo rolled her eyes. "We just had some questions about you, but he refused to answer honestly. That's why the boy was in such a sorry state."

"What did you want to know about me? Did it have to do with my memories?" 

"At least you didn't become an idiot during your stay with the soul reapers. Yes, we wanted to know how you lost your memory. Will you tell me the truth, Makoto Shiba?" I didn't like the way she said my last name. She thought my name was disgusting, something to be mocked. 

"I was attacked by a hollow," I answered truthfully. "His name was Nusumimasu or something like that. He had the ability to steal memories, but I took him down."

Joo suddenly leaped off her throne and landed right in front of me, though too close for comfort. She grabbed my face-nails digging into my cheeks-forcing me to look up at her. I began to sweat nervously,  unsure of what she planned to do. "You better not be lying to me, child."

"I'm not! I promise!"

Joo glared at me for a moment before releasing me. I rubbed my face as she walked towards her throne, but she didn't sit on it. Instead, she grabbed a wooden scepter. The wood was full of carvings on death, torture and other equally horrible things. At the top was a ball of amber with something trapped inside, though I couldn't see what. Maybe a wing? 

"How many of your memories have you regained?" she asked, studying the scepter. I heard the slamming of doors. Looking behind me, I saw changelings standing guard. They weren't there before, why are they here now?

"It doesn't feel like a lot," I answered. "A big part of my past is still a complete blank."

Joo nodded thoughtfully. "Very well. Let's begin, shall we?"

"Begin wh-" I watched as her scepter began peeling itself, revealing a sword underneath. The way it was revealed reminded me of Yamamoto's zanpakuto. "W-what the...? What are you doing?!" 

"Now is the time for you to regain your memories."

"Huh...?"

Joo began to walk towards me but I was walking backwards. That is, until I crashed into two bodies behind me. I looked up to see changeling guards looking down at me. "Don't resist," one said, "it will be over in no time."

A stabbing pain pierced through my stomach. I looked back down to see Joo's sword, though I was surprised to see no blood. My head began to spin, but before I could fall, the guards grabbed my arms, holding me up. 

I could feel my conscious fading in and out, memories surfacing my mind each time I blacked out. Each time I became aware of the real world, the sword was still there, though Joo wasn't holding it, and I was on the floor. 

After what felt like eternity, I was allowed to stay conscious. I sat up panting heavily, holding my stomach-though it didn't hurt. 

I stared down, my hair covering my face. Good. I still need time to process all of this without anyone knowing my thoughts.

"Well, Princess Makoto," Joo-the queen, my mom-said, holding out a hand for me to take. "How are you feeling? Are you ready to join your brethren again?"

I didn't look up, but I still found myself taking her hand. Once I was standing, I gave her a respectful bow. "The soul reapers have corrupted my mind, but thanks to your help, I am finally free. Thank you Mother. I am ready to join you again."

~~~

Not. What, you thought that my experience in the Soul Society had been completely erased when I regained my memories? Yeah right. I've grown to love the soul reapers, though the old me is begging for me to hate them again. 

I collapsed on my bed, closing my eyes as tears threatened to come. It felt like the changeling me was fighting the soul reaper me for dominance. Not literally of course, but I was tearing myself apart. It's hard tossing away your old way of thinking. Grr, I wouldn't be in this situation if Joo just let my memories stay lost.

Then you would never be able to learn my name, my zanpakuto sang. 

I glared at it from across the room, knowing it was right. After saying I was with the changelings again, mother-groan-gave me my zanpakuto again, stating it was my job to figure out his name. 

"Man, I can't believe the changelings were the ones controlling Central 46." 

The changelings took control after Aizen killed the original, and Aizen's fakes were gone. The whole reason I was supposed to be executed was because mom was hoping that by getting me moving, I'd be able to start regaining my memories. The only reason she interfered was because she was losing patience. Go figure. 

Don't you have more important things to be worried about?

Mom doesn't have any use for Toshiro now that I'm back. My loss of memories was the only thing keeping him alive! Tomorrow, he's going to be executed unless if I do something about it tonight. 

Wait... Shouldn't you be on the side of the changelings? I thought curiously.

I'm on whichever side my master chooses. Which happens to be you. Man I'm so unlucky. 

Hey! I objected. 

Suck it up buttercup.

Don't call me buttercup!

I can call you whatever I want until you learn my name.

And that will be...?

Now. If you think you're ready.

I sprang out of bed. "Of course I am!" I gasped and covered my mouth, hoping no one heard. I don't have a reason for someone to be suspicious of me, but still. Just in case, I peaked out my door. There were a few changeling guards, but they weren't close enough for them to hear me.

When they noticed me, I waved before slamming the door shut. 

"Ok, how do we begin? Do I need to enter my inner world?" 

Uh huh. That sounds about right.

I grabbed my zanpakuto, unsheathing it as I sat on the floor. With it laying across my lap, I allowed my guard to drop and closed my eyes. This was the first time I've tried in a long time, so I'm hoping that this'll work.

If mom really planned on attacking the Soul Society, I'm going to need to become stronger.