you fascinate me
yet you intimidate me
all in all when I am in close proximity with
you it feels my head and heart are going to collapse because
i am speechless and it
hurts you more than it does me
and sometimes lack of speech is all we need
but i cannot offer words
nor can i offer a hug
that isn't awkward or begged for
all i choose to do is run away or
let out a stutter, a
stumble
which leads to confusion because it is
uncomfortable
i fall to you
you fall to me
but yet you get back up
on your knees
whereas i fall deeper
into the pits of hell that
cannot be named because i do
not know of it myself, rather
i refuse to.
sorry carries a heavy weight
a weight held by many but
only appreciated by some
and it is deemed meaningless
on its own that we add a genuinely
or a sincerely yet when
we're apologised to too often
or not apologised to at all
the phrase itself holds no meaning at all.
therefore
i do not know why you
come to me
in times of need
my physicality
is none to be grateful for
you do indeed
have better support
i shall not say however
to prevent yourself from ending up
at the pitiful me
as if i am whom you find solace in
then so let it be.
