Reaper

The... other guy.

Well, I've asked around. Alice doesn't know anything, of course--not that she wouldn't, just that she's the newbie now. Maybe that's why I got that car crash last time... She's taken a hiatus, anyway. I don't blame, having a sub as her first job... practically alone, too. Poor girl.

She's not the only one. I still don't know what was going on with that ghost. I asked Tom, and some of the other leaders, but they were all clueless. It's weird. There's no way I'm some kind of ghost whisperer or something. There's got to be someone who...

You know...

I'm not one for theological disputes, but they say he knows everything. Or at least a lot of things. And he might just be inclined to help me...

I mean, he probably won't be, but...

Fuck it. Fuck it!

Ugh, I hate it here. It's too damn hot, and the screaming... I mean, these people deserved it! They gave up their souls or whatever, right? They're bad news, and even as souls with a lot less power than full people, it's a good thing they're here instead of out causing trouble.

But...

There are a lot of them.

And, well, in this job, you hear enough screams of pain to drive anyone insane. I don't know how they do it... 

And when you get farther away from the... punishment areas, the whole place changes. Like they're trying to forget about what they do at work all day. It's like being in the middle of a badly-decorated Halloween party.

"Excuse me?"

Oh, hi. I'm Mel, I'm with the reapers. I came to see your boss.

"Oh. Hey, Satan! There's a reaper here to see you!"

"Cool it, Jim! Go find him if it's so important!"

"Ah, fine. Come on."

He's okay with you saying his name?

"Yeah. Why, your boss isn't?"

I don't have one. Well, I do technically, but he's not the big boss and even if he cared about us saying his name, I wouldn't care. But the G-man doesn't like hearing his name.

"That's weird."

I guess. I don't think about it too much. How do you not run into that problem?

"I work for the devil. You think we have any protocols about respecting God?"

Fair enough. It's not like he can do anything to you, being in hell already...

"Anyway, what did you need to talk to the devil about?"

Well... Have you ever seen a ghost?

"Dude, I transferred in from the reapers. I've seen enough ghosts for a lifetime. And believe me--"

--I know.

"Why do you ask?"

Have you ever heard one speak?

"No. I didn't think they could. I mean, they've lost their humanity, right? Aren't they corrupted souls? Like, one hundred percent rotten and evil, not slightly dirty like the ones we get down here."

Yeah. That's the problem...

"Wait, have you--"

That's why I'm here. They say--well, some people do, anyway--they say he knows everything. Just like the... other guy. But the other guy would tell me something like "Trust in the grand plan" or something if I asked about the ghost I just saw. With all due respect, I don't really trust in anyone's plan, other than mine.