You're a small town girl from a town in Oaklahoma.
You decided that okalahoma life was too slow for you so you changed your life.
You moved to a city.
Never did you expect your lonely life to be so filled with light.
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Day 2 in Denver. Thankfully, Billy Ray was nice enough to let me sleep on the futon in his living room. What a nice y'all. I was up and out of his hair, his long, gorgeous locks, when the sun rose. After all, I have to somehow come up with a way to get to New York.
The city was cold, cold as balls. I shivered as I slithered down the road seeing what I could make of my terrible situation. I need to make some mun, and I need to make it fast if I wanna go to New York.
There's one place in every city everywhere that you can make fast money and that's selling marijugwana to kids who can't tell the difference between it and oregano.
Lucky, I found a bag of marijugwana on the ground, or oregano, did I mention I was one of those kids too? I had the perfect plan. I walked over to the nearest basketball court. I saw some local white kids lebroning and ballin.
"Hey kids," I said as I approached them, "wanna buy some drugs?"
"No we're too cool for drugs." they said.
"No you're not."
"You're right!" They started to sob, "I just wanna fit in!"
"Then buy this here marijugwana!"
Their eyes got big with amazement and curiosity. "How much is it?" One of them asked.
"How much does it take to get to New York?" I asked.
"5,000 dollars maybe?"
"Wow you need this you sure are a nerd." Then I sold them the drugs for 5,000 dollars.
"How do we know this isn't oregano?" The kid with the sick ass jordans asked.
"Smoke it to find out."
They did smoke it only to find out that it was in fact oregano. "Hey this isn't real drugs!"
"Sorry you smoked it you bloked it! Your problem now!" I said as I began to run away, but someone was blocking my path--a tall threatening man.
"You're selling marijugwana? In my good Christian suburb?!" It was Bob. He looked teed off, "I won't allow the devil's lettuce here!"
"To be fair," I began, "It was only oregano."
"Wait that voice," Bob said, "You're from the bar yesterday?"
"yeah I saw your show."
"Oh well in that case no problemo. I'll never oregano away from a fan!" He put a smile onto his face, "Bye kids, have fun with that oregano!"
Then Bob and I left the court. We walked together to his tour bus.
"Well that was an eventful day, and it was nice seeing your pretty self again." I blushed, he just called me pretty.
"It was nice seeing you too, stud."
"Wtf why would you say that ew omg." Bob was judging me. ow.
"Sorry, I'm just in a stressful situation right now. I have to get to New York but I have no money or way to get there. I just feel trapped."
"You need to get to New York? We'll we're playing a show there next! We'll drive you!"
Shocked, I said, "You don't have to do that! That's way too nice."
"I'd do anything for someone as good-looking as yourself." He tipped a fedora. Except it wasn't his fedora. It wasn't even on his head. He tipped the fedora on Fall Out Boy frontman, Patrick Stump's head. "Thanks for letting me do that, Patrick." Patrick grumbled something as he shuffled off. What a nice dude.
"Well I do need to get to New York, and I would love to hear more of your music...okay! I'll go!"
"Yippee!" Bob yelled.
"I just need to get my stuff from Billy Ray's house. He was generous enough to let me stay there."
"Okay," Bob said, "We leave tonight. Be there or be square."
Goodbye Okallahoma, Goodbye Denver, and Hello New York City.
