The Elevator

I step into the elevator ready for the long 45 flight ride down

Nobody ever seems to stop in the middle, so here we go

A beautiful red haired woman is standing in the back

Holding her brief case, i step on and smile with my best, silver, Armani suit, with a shade of black

I turn around and think this might be a very pleasant ride

As the doors begin to close slowly, a Small group of people come hustling, "Wait! Hold the door aside!"

I reach out and grab the metal door and pry it back open to let the people in

They all quickly rush into the elevator and crowd around thanking me, as the beautiful redhead and i were no longer alone, much to my chagrin

The red head squeezes behind me as she backs towards the left corner to make space

The two men and four women pile in and each find their place

Someone pressed the garage button, the doors close, and we head down

The elevator starts to move as we all look forward and stand around

I gently move over and look back at the red head and say, "hi, i hope you have enough room"

She smiles beautifully and says, "Oh yeah. You're fine. I'm comfortable" she's being polite i assume

I nudge myself a little forward and give her a little bit more room to move

"Well just the same i wanted to give you more space" She laughs a bit and say's "thanks. I approve"

I look forward with a big smile on my face and butterflies in my gut

This is going great, such a beautiful girl, she just might be the one, she might be, well i don't know what

Looking at the counter going down from 41 to 40 to 39

These butterflies in my stomach started to get more active, maybe its a sign

I look back again turn and reach out my hand and say, "Hi, I'm Burt"

She reaches back shakes my hand and says, "I'm Milly". Now i have a name so that i can flirt

The butterflies rumbling, turned to something more

Suddenly a full feeling had began to arise in my colon, as my stomach began to feel sore

Oh no! That burrito i had for lunch is coming back for blood

All these people crowded around, and this beautiful girl behind me, If anything happens i won't be looking like a stud

"Hey Burt" Milly says from behind with an almost exciting feel

I turn slowly, holding my gut, "Yy-yeah" hoping this isn't real

"I know this is kind of forward and little awkward here, But you wanna go get a drink once we get out of here?"

"A-a a drink? sure! sure! Yeah let's do that. D-definitely." I hope our stop is near

35...34... oh no, i'm going to lose this battle i just know

As the elevator moves downward gradually, the pain in my stomach starts to grow

Suddenly without control or thought

Like a wet trumpet playing with a trombone that's hot

The fart so loud and apparent it was hard not to stop in shock

But curiously, not a single person in the crowd knew the culprit, as they all started to gawk

I turn around slowly looking back to see if Milly knew

As i turn my head back and see her face she was gawking in terror too

She hadn't an idea who did it. Thank god i was in the clear

My stomach was still in pain but a little relieved, as i was in fear

This was a perfect moment to slip out of guilt even more

I cleared my throat quickly *achem* and said, "Come on. Whoever did that, its quite disgusting and inappropriate. And this is the kind of thing i will not stand for!"

Everyone around began shaking their heads in agreement as they looked around for the source

Luckily for me Milly nodding her head looks at me and smiles thinking of me as the man who stands up to injustice of course

Almost there, 10... 9... 8

Then Milly and i can get out of here, i can go to the bathroom and we can go on our date!

Oh boy this is gonna be so good i'm just happy as can be

The most beautiful girl in the world going out on a date with yours truly

5... 4... bing!

Wait! Its stopping before the garage! This can't be a good thing!

The two men squeeze out and one of the girls too

This wasn't supposed to happen. I keep squeezing my stomach but the pain is still there, i don't know what to do

Oh no. My stomach is really hurting, i can't hold it for much longer

This door needs to close so we can get down to the garage. I need to use the bathrooms before this feeling gets stronger

The door closes. But were not even moving yet, "oh man"

Ahh, this really feels uncomfortable, I hope i just can...

3... 2... Oh No!

Before i had a second to think it just all let go

Yep, level 1, one floor left and that could've been it

But in front of four women in a crowded elevator, i took a giant shit.

 

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So you think Burt still got to go out with Milly even though he shit his pants in front of her on a crowded elevator? Should Burt have just pushed through the crowd and hit a button and went to the bathroom on a different level instead of waiting to get to the garage?