Art Project

The Truth

(Tyler)

    When I woke up I expected for my arms to be around Kris, but instead I woke up disappointed to only see the bed empty and a note on the bed side table that said "Going to Tate's."

    I felt hurt, like someone had stabbed me in the chest with every word that he wrote. My heart throbbed, it felt like a million bricks were in it pulling me down along with my hopes. I shook my head no, maybe he just went to break up with him.

But even if I convinced myself, my hopes didn't go up too high, but my heart did lighten.

I got up quickly and searched rapidly for Kris. I ran through all the rooms checking for Kris, still I couldn't find him. I ran down stairs to check the kitchen and didn't see him. After a twenty minute search, I don't know why but I guess... I didn't want him to be at Tate's.

Even though it was true from the start.

~

     I shot some baskets in the basketball goal but kept missing, I can't focus. All I can think about is Kris. What's he doing? Is Tate holding my Kris right now... is he kissing him?

     The wind blew horribly causing goose bumps to arise on my bare arms and legs, wearing basketball shorts and a T-shirt wasn't the brightest idea. But I didn't care.

  It might be thirty degrees but still I don't care.

I want to feel numb, I don't want to breathe, I don't want to feel anything, just numb. I can feel things on the inside, so of course I failed. I just don't want to feel on either side.

"Hey." I look up from reaching to get the ball again to see Carl Jones. A curly brown haired teenager with green eyes, but of course not as alive as Kris'.

I've never really hung out with Carl but a lot of people like to think of him as a sleazy bastard.

“Tyler, even if we're not best friends, apparently Kris thinks we are because he texted me." Carl explained annoyed and handed me his phone.

Kris: This is kind of awkward but um, could you tell Tyler that I choose Tate? Tell him I'm sorry he's just not the one for me. I'm really sorry..

It's hard to breath and even my chest tightens making the feeling 100% worse.  My heart began sinking to my stomach and shattered like a mirror.

I wanted him to be back.

I've never wanted something so much in my life to not be real. The feelings made it feel unreal... but I knew it was.

I feel like my heart has been tied to bricks and pushed down to only sink to the bottom of my stomach.

It's all my fault though.

If I had stayed awake then he wouldn't be gone. If I was better to him then he would be with me right now, not with Tate. If I was who he wanted.

“Tyler, I know we're not like best friends or anything, but do you want to get even?"  Carl asks me, cocking his head to the side.

“No, that's not going to help anything." I said, walking away from him and to my house.

     I walk to the door and open it quickly before slamming it shut and laying my head on the door. And for once I got this burning suffocated feeling I haven't felt since I was nice years old; tears.

     They brim my eyes but I refuse to let them fall and stop blinking all together to hold them there. I swallow them down and feel my body heat up and that's when I realise how numb my body really had been without me noticing.