Where Is The Fire

His Mind

Hope you guys enjoy this next chapter~ By the way, I am planning on updating as much as possible because quick warning, it's going to be mildly long, like short chapters but a lot of them haha. However, this one is going to be a little longer than the others. It's important to me to grasp the mixed feelings of guilt and triumph that Shizuo has and make it not too OOC lol

-Arkesona

Chapter 2
Shizuo

Shizuo couldn't watch. He clenched his eyes shut and heard the faint sound of of the impact. It echoed in his mind, overpowering the stinging and throbbing of the slash his enemy had made before his fall. Slowly, he peeked over the edge, terrified at what he might see.

The day had crept into night and the sky was darker, but Shizuo could make out the slight outline of the informant's body. He stared, speechless.

Was this his fault? Sure Izaya had forced him to let go, but he had definitely had worse injuries.

Why would he have let go now?

But why was he so stuck on this? He meant to kill him. That's why he was chasing that flea, because he aimed to kill. That's why...

So he accomplished his goal.

But...

Shizuo's ears rang, and, feeling dizzy, he fell to his knees. There were no cars yet but Izaya had fallen on to a road and eventually one would come right along and damage his body. He sat there for a while, staring at the silhouette below him. The bartender couldn't find the strength to move.

He saw lights flashing out of the corner of his eyes. Headlights. He needed to move Izaya out of the road. Nauseous, Shizuo climbed down the pillar supporting the bridge and with the speed of a gazelle, he scooped Izaya into his arms, barely avoiding a car speeding past them. The reflection of the car's backlights shone on Izaya and Shizuo could see the blood spilling from his head and soaking into the coat he loved so much.

But what he also noticed was the faint breathing emanating from his lips. Startled, Shizuo froze and leaned to look at the pale man in his arms. He hadn't killed him. Izaya wasn't dead.

Thank Goodness

•••

"I don't know when he'll wake up, Mr. Heiwajima. He fell on his back instead of his head which might have been what saved his life, but he broke a few ribs and his spinal cords are in serious condition. Worst case scenario, he'll be bound to a wheelchair for a few months. Overall, if our treatments are working, then we estimate he could take up in a week or so."

Shizuo nodded.

Guess I should tell that assistant of his the news. That Yagiri chick...

He didn't know why he took Izaya to the hospital instead of Shinra. Maybe because he didn't want to interrupt the doctor's happy get-away weekend with the Black Rider, but whatever the reason, he was glad he didn't. If Shinra found out that it was Shizuo who let him fall...

No...Shinra would never think that...he would never think that I'm a...

"Sir?" The nurse asked. "Are you alright?"

"Y-yeah. Yeah I'm okay, I'm just a little tired. What time can I come in tomorrow?"

"The hospital opens for visitors at 8 o'clock."

"Thanks."

Shizuo spun on his heels and left the building, his mind still racing from the events of the day; of Izaya's last words to him, telling him he wasn't a monster. And mentioning Vorona, too, she had nothing to do with this...

But why am I feeling guilty? What am I dwelling on? Wasn't this my goal the entire time? Didn't I want to hurt that damned flea?

He didn't know.

But what he did know was that nothing going on in his mind at the moment was anywhere near the pain of when he believed Izaya was dead.