February 14 2016 9:53am
When you check your phone over and over again hoping it's her. But it never is. Gone means gone. Here's a word you never thought you'd hear her say. Toxicity. You always thought the potent poison in your lips and touch, she was immune to. I suppose it's corrosive because eventually your faults and mistakes wore her down. And like everyone, they walked away. Thinking that someone like the rest isn't enough. Sentences like fixes yourself. Or I love you but I'm not in love with you, play through your head as you feel like your floating in an ocean all alone. More or less drowning. Letting go of her hand so she can get away from the storm and seeing her disapproving eyes as you sink to the bottom with the air quickly being sucked out of your lungs and replaced with the darkest of waters, knowing your toxicity, your madness, led you to be in that water in the first place it's like diving in the ocean to catch a glimmer under the surface when you're already on a boat with the most priceless diamond. It boils down to greed. Toxicity. And loss of the air that once filled your lungs, she was that air. And you abandoned her for murky waters.
