My Diary

January 18, 2016

It's 9:02 AM and I'm still not allowed to get even near my phone. Oh well, I guess. I'm in Kiki's car right now with Kiki, Jake, Ray and some other small child that Kiki now babysits. We're going to Denver to meet one of Kiki's friends and go to a Natural History/Science Museum. Honestly I think I could care less but I might as well not make such a fuss. All that will do is cause more problems and get me into more trouble. By the way, if you're wandering why all of this is happening on a Monday, we have today off from school because it's Martin Luther King Jr.'s Day. I just want to be alone most of the time. And it's like I'm just a shell. I don't have much feeling. But when I do, it's mostly from my depression and anxiety so I just break. Barely is it from laughter or any "good times". Maybe not having feeling causes me to not want help from anyone. Oh well. I'll write again soon.
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It's 9:47 AM and I've broken down again at least 3 times. I can't even last an hour without crying and it's like I can't control it. The last time was when I was asleep. I can't remember what my dream was but it must've meant a lot to make me cry in my sleep. I can't even remember the last time that's happened. I think it might've been the music I'm listening to to cause the dream. And maybe I might've fallen asleep while thinking of a way to help my girlfriend. (I'm Pansexual, by the way) I'm not exactly sure but I'm going to try to get some sleep again. I'll right back sometime.
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It's 2:55 PM and we're back in the car. I haven't cried or broken at all while in the museum but I'm pretty sure I died a couple of times from boredom. I don't have much to write about now but I'll write again soon.