Butterfly

Fifteen

Jimin's point of view

Every since Jin has stop answering his calls and text, As well as stopped hanging around my place, I have slowly falling back in to my depression.

All it brought was drugs, alcohol, girls, and parties. Because of that I got in trouble a lot. Soon I just gave up and dropped out of school. I stayed home most of the time. With maybe a few girls that brought a good time. But staying at home meant I was alone. Alone with my thoughts, alone with the voice in my head that told me to hurt myself. To cut my wrist. To do so many horrible things overall. And I listened. I was 17 when I started to cut my wrist everyday till I couldn't do it anymore so that my arms could heal. But I couldn't wait. I cut my legs and burned them with the bottom of the cigarettes that i would smoke. I never wore shorts or let people see my legs.

Right before my 18th birthday my mom put me back in high school. And that's when I met Jin. At first I hated him. Everything about him I hated. I hated how he wanted to fix everything. I wasn't the only one. Coming to this school meant I found more people like me. Or at least enough to let me feel like I wasn't in this alone. And that was Suga and JungKook. Slowly we be friended NamJoon and J-hope. J-hope was the one that was similar to me. It was like we had the same lives. At the time Jin slowly fell in to this dark state. We all thought he was going crazy. But we let him join us. Although he was in this dark state he still wanted us to do better. Slowly we started changing our ways. And met HyeJin. Her ex was my best friend. Luhan. He abused her and made her do unspeakable things. And she couldn't take it. We met on a roof. She was meant to die that day. But Jin and I were there to save her. And ever since she has been one of us. Her smile makes everyone happy. Jin knew how special she was. And made his move. Although we were all jealous, we loved each other like a family. But what Jin really did for me was made me feel wanted. Needed. Loved.

And now that he is not here I don't feel that. Yeah the other guys are great and all but Jin was my happiness as odd as it sounds.

But now I'm here sitting in my bath. The tub full of water.

I'm contemplating if I should kill myself or not. I can't take this life anymore.

Death seems like the only way out. It has to be.

Letting my body sink in to tube. The water slowly creeping in to my face till it's fully covered.

This is the way I'm willing to go out. I'm willing to die by my on hand.

Laying under the water till I feel like I can't anymore is harder than I thought.

But I force myself down anyway.

I begin to feel light headed. And like the room is spinning. My life slowly fading away from me.

This is it. The end of my life. I won't miss it. Just the people in it.