Am I Good Enough Now ?
Am I good enough for you
I changed my personality and dyed my hair blue.
I started to talk like I never a attended school
Looked and acted like a fool
Then that wasn't enough, was it
You said even though I was thin I was not fit
So I stopped eating all my lunches
Took all your mental kicks and punches
Then you said, it's not enough, you're still to big
Even though I was as skinny as a twig
But the want of fitting in was too strong
So I ignored what was right and what was wrong
So I started to throw up all my food
It didn't matter what I thought, just how I was viewed
But then it was this and then it was that
You still telling me I'm too fat
I was never enough, I just felt like crap
Wishing to have just even a small thigh gap
So I started to cut, they said it would help
The first time I did it, I made a little yelp
Like it was yesterday I remember it so clear
I tried it again to let go of the fear
Then I tried again and again until I couldn't get enough
Doing it less than five times a day was tough
My parents noticed my weird behavior and pale skin
Even noticed that I was so thin
But they never said a word, like they didn't see
That I was no longer me
So I cut and cut until my blood didn't excite
So I started to wrap things around my throat so tight
I kept doing it and doing until my vision was blocked by black spots
Doing things and thinking these horrible thoughts
But as you can see those plans never got complete
So me and death never got to meet
So now that you know all my when, where's, and how
I still ask the question
Am I good enough now ?
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When She Was Happy (SLOW UPDATES)
PoesieInjurious words and time can turn happiness into a distant memory. -© k.k. 2013-