Am I Good Enough Now?

221 12 8
                                    

Am I Good  Enough Now ?

Am I good enough for you

I changed my personality and dyed my hair blue.

I started to talk like I never a attended school

Looked and acted like a fool

Then that wasn't enough, was it 

You said even though I was thin I was not fit

So I stopped eating all my lunches

Took all your mental kicks and punches

Then you said, it's not enough, you're still to big

Even though I was as skinny as a twig

But the want of fitting in was too strong

So I ignored what was right and what was wrong

So I started to throw up all my food

It didn't matter what I thought, just how I was viewed

But then it was this and then it was that

You still telling me I'm too fat

I was never enough, I just felt like crap

Wishing to have just even a small thigh gap

So I started to cut, they said it would help

The first time I did it, I made a little yelp

Like it was yesterday I remember it so clear

I tried it again to let go of the fear

Then I tried again and again until I couldn't get enough

Doing it less than five times a day was tough

My parents noticed my weird behavior and pale skin

Even noticed that I was so thin

But they never said a word, like they didn't see

That I was no longer me

So I cut and cut until my blood didn't excite

So I started to wrap things around my throat so tight

I kept doing it and doing until my vision was blocked by black spots

Doing things and thinking these horrible thoughts

But as you can see those plans never got complete

So me and death never got to meet

So now that you know all my when, where's, and how

I still ask the question

Am I good enough now ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When She Was Happy (SLOW UPDATES)Where stories live. Discover now