His Great Game (Sherlock x Reader)

Chapter 27: Home is Where the Heart Is

(Sherlock's POV)

I quickly blinked the last of the tears out of my eyes as I closed the door softly behind me.

"Sherlock." Lestrade's curt voice cut through me as I approached with my head hanging low. I looked up to see him standing with his arms stiffly crossed, an angry scowl on his face. John stood next to him, and Dr. Thatcher slid behind me to enter (Y/n)'s room. I moved over to let him pass.

"Yes?" I answered, attempting to put on my usual cold and uncaring façade to mask the pain I was engulfed in. I saw John smirk and I knew he wasn't buying it. Lestrade, however, didn't seem to care what state I was in.

"Good to see you're alive." His words were short as he attempted to keep his emotions at bay.

"Likewise, Graham. I trust you've made the necessary arrests?" My monotone voice was laced with mockery, setting him off.

"Oh, for God's sakes. DAMN YOU, SHERLOCK, I told you not to get involved! I told you to just go home!" He seethed, his emotions all erupting at once. Fury blazed in his brown eyes, but there was something else- something I couldn't quite place...

I took a deep breath. "I do feel... remorseful... about my actions, Lestrade." The sentence didn't convey my true feelings, but then again, that was rather my goal.

"Yeah, and you very well should! You could have died! (Y/n) could have died!" Aha! There it was, the look in his eyes was even stronger. Worry. Protectiveness. Lestrade genuinely cared about the well-being of myself and (Y/n). I scoffed mentally. Sentiment- nothing more than a chemical defect... not that I'm one to talk, given the last hour's events... I was almost touched. Almost.

"Um, Greg..." John tried to reason with Lestrade, but he waved John away. John complied easily, shutting his mouth and hanging his head. I presumed he had already been in my shoes earlier, facing Lestrade's scolding, and wasn't eager to go through that again.

"I was perfectly aware of the potential consequences of my actions, thank you very much. I knew what I was getting into." I sneered, trying everything I could to get Lestrade to end the conversation.

"Did (Y/n)?" I inhaled sharply as his words jabbed into my chest. "Did you tell her everything that might happen, or did you just drag her along?" Guilt washed over my entire body and my façade dropped as he confirmed my deepest fears. It's my fault- it's all my fault. I made her go... The same two words kept ringing in my head. My fault... My fault...

"I'm sorry." I choked out, my eyes beginning to sting.

Lestrade's eyes softened. "Sherlock..." his voice was quieter now, "it just seems like every time you take her on a serious mission, she gets hurt. And that's not good for her." I knew he was right. I was bad for her. A parasite. She needed to stay away from me- for her own sake. "...Sherlock, you have to let her leave. You have to let her go."

I knew my eyes radiated the agony I was feeling as they began to water. (Y/n)? Leave? As necessary as it was, I found it impossible to comprehend the idea. I didn't want her to go, I wanted her to stay. Needed her to stay. She kept me grounded. Happy, even, at times.

Lestrade read me like a book. "If she wants to leave, Sherlock, you have to let her. You must at least give her that option. Just because you want her around doesn't mean she wants to stay around. She doesn't deserve to live in that kind of peril... You and I both know that."

I nodded, accepting my inevitable fate. She'd choose to leave, of course. What other choice was there? If she stayed, it wouldn't be long before I would see her name on a gravestone. She had already faced death once, but survived. Undoubtedly she wouldn't be so lucky again. Who would choose to live that kind of life?