Prison of Beauty

Staying Strong

Raven's POV

It's been three weeks since I first met the hot rounder. I've been eating half of everything, and giving him all of my meat. I still keep exercising, but with only half of an already scarce diet it's not that easy. But still I keep going. I have to be ready. That's what I tell myself when I push myself to scout those escape routes with an aching stomach. That's what I'm telling myself as I push myself to do those fifty extra sit ups. 

On top of all that, I can't let anyone see that I'm getting weaker. If they notice, they'll think I'm sick. Sick people's children are sick. The stain in the gene pool would have to be removed. I would be "inefficient". Just like that infertile woman that was shunned and had to starve because she couldn't make a living. How do you make a living in a place where reproduction is the key if you can't reproduce healthy children? The simple answer? You don't. And what you don't make, you don't have.

So yeah, nobody can ever know, like, ever. First of all I would be shunned and my father would disown me, and this time my sister wouldn't be able to talk him out of it. Once I'm disowned, I couldn't get food, since nobody would show up at the doorstep that I wouldn't have in order to toimpregnate me. 

I think all of these thoughts while I work out. The good news about inner turmoil and indecision? It distracts you from the pain of push ups and the growling, empty pit others would call a stomach. I collapse in exhaustion, but honestly, I'm really proud of myself. I'm doing the right thing here. Physically I feel like shit, but I can stand behind each decision I've made for the last couple weeks and I would do exactly the same thing if I could relive that time. Not a lot of people around here are able to say that. I haven't done anything wrong. The knowledge that I've been doing everything right is so relieving, so nice . . . It almost makes me feel free. Well if you ignore the wall trapping us in slavery. 

I pull my shirt back over the sports bra I was wearing (yes, we have normal clothes here), and feel the lump of the bag settle under my stomach. It has half of today's breakfast in it: two carrots and exactly half a piece of toast. Looking at them reminds me so much of Rico, since he's half the reason I'm doing this. It threatens to bring up so many suppressed memories, but I keep them down, choking on a sob. 

~~

Vanessa (Raven's mom)'s POV

I look at my daughter as she climbs down the stairs, hearing her stomach rumble. We just ate dinner, and she's always been hardy, so even our tight rations shouldn't be hurting her. I duck behind the sorry excuse of a couch as she slips past me. I see the lump in her stomach; fatness and rumbling stomach? Something's off. She never finishes her food first, and why is she sneaking out? I have to stop thinking  the obvious quesions and start acting.

I tiptoe behind her, knowing her hearing is good. Too good, but she doesn't know that. She also doesn't know about the new chairs I have to illegally buy every time she gets mad at her father, or the scorch marks I have to cover up in her room every time a tear or drop of sweat hits the floor. 

A quick look at the watch tells me it's 23:45. Only fifteen minutes to midnight. Could she be pregnant and illegally buying food because she doesn't want us to know? It would explain her hunger, her frailness, and her gobbling up the food. Convinced this is it, I head back into the house. I'll give her some of my food when making breakfast each day, and she'll be fine. Just once the baby is here, the government can't know. Ever.

Or else all my work with the rebellion is for nothing, all the infiltrators as good as dead. My first son's sacrifice . . . For nothing. 

I can't let that happen. Ever. 

A/N: Sorry this is so short, I just really wanted to keep writing, I have to get ideas down before they slip my mind. Anyways, don't be discouraged at the lack of romance, I assure you, there will be PLENTY more to come ;). And what do you guys think is going on with Raven's mom? And what would be so monumental about Raven having a child? She's just a normal teenage girl, like all the others . . . Right?