Prison of Beauty

Fucking Lasagna!

I'm hurt and upset about being used. I gave him as much as I could spare and then some but no nothing's enough for that bastard. Most of all I'm upset I gave him half of my lasagna. Fucking lasagna! 

"Raven, Brenda's daughter just went missing," Jessica says, snapping me out of my thoughts. 

"Wait, Genny?" I ask incredulously. I never liked her. Despite my mother's effort to make us "besties for the resties" I could never be friends with somebody named Gennifer in honor of the Gen. It shouldn't even be pronounced like "Jennifer" which is why I always pronounced the G. Honestly that's probably why we're not friends, she got kind of annoyed the third year I did it. 

"Yes, Genny. She was pregnant too. Nobody has any idea where she went."

"Shit that's terrible for little Oscar. Didn't he have the flu or something and they were getting medicine thanks to her pregnancy?"

"Yeah that's true. But seriously that's all you're worried about right now? Not the fact that a person actually went missing which has literally never happened here? We're surrounded by a wall for Christ's sake! There's nowhere she could've gone and if somebody took her well they certainly can't be from here!"

"That's true. We're lucky if we can provide for ourselves and our immediate family, never mind a stranger ... "

"Stop with your mopy BS and turn on your brain and think. You knew her.  Where could she have gone?"

"Uh ... she was always grateful for the Generosity of being here so I don't see why she would've run. Maybe the government took her? There's literally no possible way somebody from here could have taken her."

"Girls, it's a good thing she's gone," says my father.

"Wait what?" I ask incredulously.

"Come on, Raven, you're the one always complaining about being here. In your opinion anywhere would be better than an organized society with a loving family, no?"

"Guess she's pretty lucky," I mutter under my breath as I'm getting up from breakfast. I head outside, wanting to go for a walk to clear my head. 

"Hi," I hear a familiar voice rumble behind me.

I turn around slowly to see Drake standing there, leaning against the wall with his perfectly sculpted arms crossed in front of him. His perfect features just disgust me now, as I know they just make up for the manipulative asshole he is on the inside.

"You haven't been to our meeting spot in awhile. Are you okay?" he asks, the fake concern oozing from every word like blood from a wound. 

"I would be fine if I hadn't wasted half of my perfectly good lasagna," I reply honestly, turning around to leave. He grabs my arm and turns me back around.

"Look, I don't even like lasagna you didn't have to do that!" 

"What the fuck is wrong with you?! I mean using somebody for a little extra food is one thing, but not liking lasagna is just unforgiveable. I am ashamed of knowing you!"

"Woah woah woah. Okay so maybe I'm a monster for not liking lasagna, but what's all this about using you for food? I thought we had the same beliefs and were helping each other live by them ... " He trails off, seeing the fury in my eyes. "Do you not want to see me anymore?"

"You played me like a fiddle, telling me everything I wanted to hear. Knowing exactly how to worm your way into my head. When batting your eyelashes didn't work you analyzed my beliefs and reigned me in using everything you knew to get some extra food. So yes, I do not ever want to see you again."

"So ... the whole food thing I done?" he asks, a look of annoyance in his eyes as the façade begins to drop away.

"Hell no!"

"Oh well. It was good while it lasted," he says, kisses me on the cheek, and walks off nonchalantly. 

Tears start to well up in my eyes as I watch him walk off. Yes, I've only known him for two months, but I thought I'd found somebody who I could be myself with. Someone who understood me and would be there for me. But all I was to him was an extra meal. And the worst part is, I saw it coming. I knew that's probably what I was to him. That maybe at the beginning I might have sparked some curiosity at most. So while he just walks away, relieved that he can stop pretending, I'm left here bawling my eyes out like a fucking four-year-old. 

How the hell did I become so weak?

I guess there really is no place for love here ... 

The absolute worst part is, there is no way I will ever get back that lasagna!