*Riv's POV*
I waited till Cam left, then went and sat down at the table, with Gray trailing behind me. I had no idea how I was going to do this, but I should start off easy.
"Tanner, Tanner Renning. I loved him. He was honestly my first love, first kiss, first hug..." I say. Grayson looks down at his hands. I could tell he wanted to say something. He opened my mouth, as if to speak, but quickly closed it.
"What is it?" I ask him. "Well, don't answer it if you get uncomfortable but, did he, ya know..." he trailed off. "Gray, I don't get what you mean."
"Did he, take your virginity Riv?" he asks taking a small glimpse up at me then looking back down at his hands. My eyes go wide as I realize what he said. Heat rushes to my face and I can feel myself go instantly beet red.
"No. He didn't Grayson."
He seemed to smile a bit and let out a sigh of relif, not loud enough for anyone else to hear. He looked back up at me, nodding for me to continue.
"One night, he took me to a night club. We were having such a great time. Sweaty bodies were all over the place grinding on each other. We were dancing and looking insane, but it didn't matter. We were together. And we were having fun.
"After a while, my feet started to hurt and I was wearing down. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him. Tanner carried us out to his car and set me down in the passenger seat. I remember my head pounding and my vision started getting blurry. He got in on the other side of the car. I looked at him with bloodshot eyes. Then everything just, blurred..."
I looked down trying not to cry. The next part of the story is the hardest for me. It breaks me just to think about it. I don't like to feel insane. But I tried as hard as I could to fight, and continue the story.
"I don't remember anything after that. I remember waking up in my bed the next morning. I couldn't even remember him. His name. His face. His eyes. I just remembered a person that made me feel like life was good. I tried as hard as I could for months to remember. Flashes came back and I started to remember his name. I remembered the club. I remembered him carrying me to his car. I couldn't remember anything else and I just, I felt worthless. Tanner meant so much. When I couldn't find any tracks of him in my phone or through my friends, I thought I was going insane. 'Tanner' ran through my mind every moment of everyday until I couldn't take it anymore and...."
I looked down at my wrists and held back tears. Remembering those days kill me inside.
"I still don't remember what he looks like." I whisper. I look up at Grayson. His eyes are glossy from looking at my wrists. He looked back up at me and our eyes locked. I felt safe and all I wanted to do was jump in his arms and hold him so tight.
"I'm sorry." he says.
A/n: HI IM BACK!!! I'm so sorry I've been gone for four months but hey, writers block sucks balls. Later dudes! Luv u!
~Mare
