One More Time
Chapter 3
Jasmine's Pov
My heart pounded against my rib cage as I pondered over the dream. I massaged my temples, trying to keep the tears from falling. It was just hard, really hard. I felt guilty. Almost two years, and I still felt guilty. I knew I deserved it. I deserved to be in pain after all I did to him.
"Jasmine? Are you okay?" I heard behind my door.
"Y-yeah I'm fine," I croaked out.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I-I'm sure."
"Ookay, want some coffee?"
"No, thanks. Uh, I'm good."
"Alright.. Just tell me if you need anything, okay?"
"Thanks Jerry."
I let out a sigh of relief as his footsteps faded away. I hadn't had those dreams in such a long time. Why had they came back? Was it because I went to visit his family? Why?
Please, help me. I need you.
~^~
I had stayed in my room all day. I just wanted to be alone. Jerry had come to check on me multiple times. I understood that he was worried, but he was really trying my patience. I rolled my eyes as soon as I heard the next set of knocking.
"Jasmine?"
"Yeah?"
"Wanna go to the store with me?"
"No, I'm good."
"Wanna talk?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I'm not feeling well."
"Exactly, maybe you need someone to talk to."
"I don't want to talk to anybody, okay?"
"Jasmine, come on! You've been in your room all day," Jerry said
"Leave me alone!"
"Come out! You haven't even eaten anything!"
"I'm not hungry."
"Damn it. Get out of there!"
"Don't you fucking understand? I don't want to talk to anybody! Leave me alone!"
"You can't keep acting like this!"
"You just don't fucking understand! Leave me the hell alone!"
"Please Jasmine. Come on," he pleaded.
"Go away. You won't fucking understand anyways. You and your perfect little life. Why the hell did you move down here anyways? You lived in fucking New York. You don't fucking belong here. Hell, did mommy and daddy not give you the newest phone? Is that why you left?" I asked in a sarcastic tone.
He stayed silent and I started regretting my words. I didn't know his story. Just like he didn't know mine. There were some things he told me, but not everything. Like me, he had secrets to, but I had never cared to much to ask.
"Have it your fucking way then. I'll leave you the hell alone."
I almost stood up from my bed and opened the door, spilling out how sorry I was, but I didn't. I wanted to be left alone.
The more time that passed, the more nervous and guilty I felt. I was so close to giving up and apologizing when I heard knocking again.
"Open the door Jasmine. I want to show you something."
I didn't say anything as he walked away. I still felt angry, but I knew that I should go apologize and hear what he had to say.
My anger had died down by the time I had enough courage to open the door and walk into the living room. He was sitting down with his eyes closed and holding tightly to a box in his hands.
"Jerr-"
"A year ago, my mom caught my dad consuming drugs. He-he was worse than we thought he was. They fired him from his job. My mom asked him to quit, but he couldn't. He would leave for days and we wouldn't know where he was. The drugs were taking him away from us. I didn't even know who he was anymore.
"That happened during four months. He started fading away. He wouldn't talk to us. Nothing. It was like he just lived to walk around. Dead but alive at the same time. He died six months ago.
"I watched my dad die. I don't even remember the last words he told me. Someone found him in an alleyway. Dead. I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."
Tears slipped from his eyelids onto his cheeks. I put my arms around his shoulders, trying to at least comfort him. I blinked several times, trying to keep the tears from falling.
"I'm s-sorry. I didn't know."
He opened his eyes and gave me a sad smile. He opened the box and handed me a picture that was inside. It was a picture of a small boy and an older man. The boy was probably eleven or twelve and he was holding onto a football. He had a huge smile on his lips that matched the one on the man's face. The older man had his arm's around the boy's shoulders and he was kneeling beside him.
"My dad was one of the best people in the world. He just made a few mistakes. Mistakes that ended his life. He was always there. Well, until the last year of his life. I miss him a lot.
"I didn't have a perfect life Jas. I wanted to start again. I wanted to try to be someone. For him. For my dad. I want him to be proud of me. Wherever he is.
"I left because my mom didn't want to stay there anymore. Right now, she's with her mom and dad. I just decided not to go with her. She understood me I guess.
"What I'm trying to tell you is that, things happen for a reason. My story may not be as sad as yours, I don't know, but mine isn't pretty either. I'm trying. Maybe you should start trying to."
He untangled himself from my arms and walked away. He didn't look back. He just left me there to thiink about what he had said.
To be honest, I didn't know what to think. I felt guilty for telling him what I had told him. He was strong, stronger than I was. He had all the reason in the world to be sad, to be like me, but he wasn't.
He was right. I should start trying. I should start trying to better.
The thing was, I didn't know if I was able to. I wasn't anywhere near as strong as he was. It was still so hard for me to accept, to deal with everything.
I had changed so much from the girl I used to be. I knew it wasn't possible for me to go back to the way I used to be. I was to broken, to fragile to be that girl.
Maybe it was time to tell someone what I had gone through. Maybe that was the first step to being better, to being stronger.
I just needed to find the courage to do so.
~^~
I am so sorry!!! Two weeks without an update! I'm so sorry! I've just been through a lot lately. I don't even wanna talk about it. Forgive me yes? This is such a short chapter! I apologize again. I just wanted to ive you guys something because it's like I've fallen off the face of the Earth or something. Ugh >.< Sorry, again.
Anyways, did you expect that? Jerry finally revealed a little about himself. Now it's time for Jasmine to do that and be the strong girl I know she is. Ready to know what she's been hiding guys? :) I'm ready for you guys to know!
Thank you for the support and love guys! Love you all <3
- TryOnceMore
