more then just friends

school project

Causion may be triggering mention of self harm.

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My name is Alexandria but I prefer to be called Alex. My best friends name is Nick. When we we're younger Nick and demi we're my best friends we we're together every day. Once We got to high school things started changing demi made friends with miley Cyrus she's not so bad I see her everyday cause she's dating my brother Shawn. We live with my dad my mom died two years ago from a brain tumor. My dad started drinking after that I try to stay away from him as much as I can he don't hit me but he calls me names and my brother. And tries to blame us cause she died. When he is sober he always apologizes for what he says and I know he doesn't mean what he says. But anyway back to Nick he's my best friend he knows all my secrets he just doesn't know how bad one of them is see I started cutting when high school started and I promised him I would stop and I have really tried and I try not to. And he knows why I started doing it in the first place. I'm gay yes I like girls but when I first realized it I was struggling real bad with it I didn't under stand it. Freshman year I realized I liked demi as more then just a friend. But I never told her we drifted away slowly I would call her house and her mom would say she's either out or she's busy. She stopped returning phone calls and I eventually stopped calling. At first it was hard cause she lived right next door but Nick helped me through it. I was lucky to have Nick in my life. When we we're sixteen we weren't dating anyone we both decided to loose our virginities to each other since we we're best friends and we cared about each other and we trusted each other. Now he's dating a girl name Salena Gomez she's really nice She's also friends with demi. I had a couple girlfriends but they didn't last very long cause they decided someone else was better. I can't deny that maybe there right. Oh no there's the voices again. You are a looser that's why no body likes you that's why demi left you your just a stooped reject you should cut your self. Noooooooooooooo, I screamed and realize I'm still in class. I look around breathing heavily and everyone is looking at me including demi but she looked more frightened and worried more then anything. " are you OK miss evens the teacher asked" " yea I'm fine I say looking down at my desk. Ok well we're you even paying attention to what is going on. " um no sorry" " I figured as much I'm assigning partners for a project and I said demi is your partner. " wait what? I shoot my head up to look at the teacher. " I said demi is your partner now can you please pay attention when your in my class please the next time I will send you to the principals office. " yea sorry, just great I think to my self I'm partner's with demi what are the odds of that. The bell rings and I grab my stuff and run out the door I really don't want to deal with anything right now demi might ask me what that was about. We'll she did look consurned but she don't actually care does she. I run into Nick cause I'm running so fast I'm not paying attention. " hey what you running from. " I just made an ass of my self in my last class. " why what happened ." " the voices in my head made me scream in class and everyone looked at me including demi and as if it ain't bad enough the teacher made demi my partner for a project. " wow it's that bad huh. He says laughing. " Nick I say punching his arm playfully what am I going to do I haven't talked to demi since freshman year we're seniors what am I going to do I say putting my head in my hands. " I don't know what your going to do but she's coming this way. " what? I say looking up at him. " turn around" " oh no this can't be happening not now I say turning around. " hey Alex are you ok I know it's weird that we are partners. " um yyea I'm fine demi and n... No it's not weird n... Not at all " " well good she says with a chuckle so about the project do you want to do the project at your place or mine she says with a smile like every thing is ok. " um it doesn't matter to me. " ok how about I come to your house after school. " t....That's fine what is wrong with me I can't even make a simple conversation with the girl. " great she says with a smile I will see you later then oh and the studdering is cute she says and winks at me and walks away. Ok what was that was she flirting with me no she couldn't have been she's straight she's dating Joe. So what happened Nick asked when I met him at his locker witch is right next to mine. " honestly I don't know but she's coming to my house to do the project. " well that's good maybe you two can be friends again. " yea I doubt that Nick we are just working on a project. " yea and you two will be talking so maybe this is a good thing. I don't know maybe your right but I get so nervous around her I can't even form a sentence when she's around. " Do you want me to be there when she comes " " um no I have to do this on my own but thanks Nick. "No problem let me know what happens he says hugging me I hug him back. " see you later Nick I say walking to my last class of the day.