Drabbles

alone again naturally

Alone. Again. Wow what a great way to start a chapter Hannah. Being alone is something I've touched on before. I rarely open this book unless I feel things are falling apart. I do this thing when I'm in a relationship(of any kind it seems) where once I've been given a certain amount of love or affection I feel as if every time I speak the words "I love you" I'm lying. Which leads to some sort of either mental breakdown or break up. But how am I supported to cope with that feeling if it's involved in a completely platonic relationship?  I'm very stuck on this because it makes me more distant towards one of the only people I truly care for leaving me once again, you guessed it, alone. They're an amazing friend and this feeling makes me feel in a sense, broken. They care an awful lot and by doing this I'm only upsetting us both. Leaving would be much worse.Why can't I just have a friend and not ruin it? This person deserves so much but it's definitely not me. If I could change I would but with everything going on I can't really handle this.

5-27-17