Cinnamon. {Joshler}

Please Please Save Me

After the incident, I moved Tyler into my mother and I's house. She wasn't very happy about it, but given the circumstances she was willing to allow us a place to stay. We decided it was time to tell my mother we were engaged, as we hadn't told her yet due to her homophobic performance a while back. So, when the time came, Tyler and I called her into the living room, us sitting on a love seat and my mother sitting in a matching chair next to us. "Mom, uh, okay so there's something I-we've- been meaning to tell you." I took a gulp and Tyler's hand wrapped around mine. "Are you boys okay?" She asked. I could tell she was worried, she probably thought I had cancer or something. "Yeah, um, it's just. Crap. Okay, me and Tyler are engaged."

There was screaming. And then there was throwing. At one point Tyler almost got hit in the face by some stupid snowglobe on the shelf before I pulled him out of the way. I ended up having to hold my mother's arms to her sides to get her to stop. Tears stained her face and she kept screaming about God and how her son was going to hell. I shook her lightly, causing her to go silent. "LIsten to me. I love you. Even if you don't approve of my choices. We aren't staying here forever, we're leaving soon. I can't bear to see you this distrought but I talked to you about this before and I won't ever let you do anything to hurt Tyler. You almost literally did just a second ago. Just, give us some time, okay?" My mother glared. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen but I stood my ground because I heard Tyler crying behind me, and crying hard. I let go of my mother and backed up a step. She opened her mouth to speak. "You have one week, Josh. One week to get the fuck out."

There was no anger in her voice. It was mmonotone, sad, and the first time my mother had ever swore in front of me with the intentions of letting me go, and not caring if I came back. It was like a promise that she would never care for me again, and that alone was enough to make me back away, grabbing Tyler's hand softly and pull him outside. He followed me to the car and we got in. I drove. For minutes, hours, days, I don't know. All I do know is that we wound up in front of Tyler's house and me and him were both sobbing violently. We both knew we would have to go in to get the last of his things, and I guess my brain just thought let's get it over with. "Ty, we don't have to do this." I whispered. The brunette wiped his cheeks and shook his head. "No, let's just get it done." I nodded, leaning over and kissing his soft lips before climbing out of the vehicle.

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Inside the house had a strange air to it, unlike any other time I had been here. Tyler and I had knocked on the door and his mother answered, flinging herself onto Tyler when she saw him and chanting how she felt horrible about the situation. Once we said our hellos Tyler and I went upstairs and into his room. The brunette went and reached for something under his bed, pulling out a small box and opening it. I gasped softly as I saw the contents: his razors. The objects he had used so many times before to mark up his beautiful skin. He looked at the small silver objects before sighing, his eyes welling up with tears. Before I could wrap my arms around him he was walking to his window, opening it and throwing the wretched objects into the space between his and his neighbour's houses. When he turned around he looked confused, because tears were falling down my cheeks but I had the biggest smile I've ever had on my face. I pulled him in for a hug. "I love you." I whispered. He hugged me back and replied, and then we got to work on packing his things. Before long we were carrying the last boxes down the stairs and towards my car. By then Zack had woken up, and leaned against the doorframe as we carried the cardboard objects in our hands. Tyler past Zack carefully, as though he were a deer trying to escape a wolf's den. Under his breath Zack muttered a brief, "Slut." And it took all of my willpower not to kill him right then and there. I saw the younger boy's eyes widen slightly and his eyes brim with tears, and I pulled him outside, slamming the house door shut. He didn't even say goodbye to his parents as I dragged him to the car. "Get in. We're gonna go home."

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Looking for apartments were hard, but worth it. After a few days we found a beautiful apartment for a fairly cheap price, and both of us were excited to start a life of our own. That is, until my mother rained fury on us the last night of our stay because she was tired from work and sick of us I guess.

Needless to say, she started screaming at us for being gay, and how God was sending us to hell, she said that a lot, and today was no exception. I could handle her constant comments and screaming at this point, but she clearly hadn't learned not to target Tyler when she shouted directly at him, "You litte whore! This is all your fucking fault!" and proceeded to continue to tell him how he was worthless. The brunette ran upstairs and slammed a door shut, I wasn't sure which one at the time but he did, and I slapped my mother. She shut up, eyes wide in confused shock. "Don't ever talk to me or Tyler again." I walked up the stairs, assuming Tyler was in the bedroom, before seeing the door still ajar and the light off. I looked at the bathroom door and saw that the light was on. "Tyler?" I asked softly, knocking lightly on the door. "Tyler." I said a little louder. I turned the door handle but it was locked. "Tyler?!" I said loudly, trying to get the door open. Finally I was throwing my full body onto the door and it pushed open, the old lock finally budging. I couldn't unsee what I saw that night, still can't. There was screaming. I was the one screaming, grabbing my phone as I ran over to the tub, pulling Tyler's body towards me as he moved fitfully. There was a lot of blood. It covered him and me and the tub and even the floor. I thought he had moved past this, but clearly it wasn't completely over with. Before long the paramedics arrived and stormed in, leaving my mother in a daze as I rode to the hospital with Tyler in an ambulance, unsure of what was going to happen, but knowing I wasn't okay.