Two Worlds

Chapter 11

There was rush. Louder than an ocean's wave and deeper than the sea. It was a very human moment, a selfish moment. A moment of doubt, a moment of reasoning and a moment of guilt. An instant in which the future was so prominent, yet so faded and so far. He could reach out for it all, he could grab it but it seemed stolen. It appeared as it was something that did not belong to her; nevertheless he wanted it so deeply. He shouldn't, but he would. Because he was selfish, he was self-centered. He didn't deserve it, but he would take it.

The thirteen year old boy rushed. He grabbed everything in sight; it was a moment of great hesitation. He would snatch every object in view and stuff it in the small bag he was holding. Then suddenly, he would pause, thinking of how wrong he was being, but in the next instant he would convince himself that it was what was best for him and that that was all he needed to keep in mind.

He gathered his belongings. He took out the money as well as the document from inside his pillow case. The money he had been saving since he had planned his escape and the document he had stolen from Ingrid. It all seemed so surreal. He grabbed the wrist link, the one he felt emotionally attached to. He collected the worthless objects, which were his most precious possessions. He rummaged under his bed and found what he sought.

The little silver blade felt light in his hand, impossibly light. He clenched his fingers around it, convincing himself that he had to use it if need be.

He hung the bag on his shoulder. He didn't want to wait a second more. He wanted a future, a life. He wanted a purpose and it seemed impossible as long as he was standing in this deserted and dark estate. Should he see Eris? Would she bid him farewell?

His instincts objected. He felt sinful, guilty. His gait was hesitant. He held on the knob of the door for support. His legs felt weak.

"Rian?" said a little high-pitched voice.

He turned around in an instant.

"Katie." Her name was just a whisper; it lacked the hate it was usually coated with. It was two syllables filled with pity and a sea of emotions he would never decipher. It was a soft whisper in a moment of forgetfulness.

"Go away," he ordered.

The little girl examined him.

"Are you going somewhere?" Katie asked, pointing at his bag.

"Go away. Leave me alone," he walked on. The sooner he would get this over with, the better.

"Don't leave me alone," Katie pleaded holding on to the hem of his shirt. "Daddy left me too."

He faced her. The little girl's eyes were glistening.

The boy steeled himself.

"Let go, Katie," he said, tearing her hand away. "Go away," he sped forward.

"Rian," said the little girl thickly and one could tell she was crying. "Rian, I'm scared, don't leave me. Rian-" she shrieked.

"Katie, stop!" he shouted. "Go away!"

"Rian, I'm sorry. I don't want you to go. Rian, please, please." She cried, grabbing his leg with both of her arms. Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks.

His heart was bursting. He was breaking.

"Let me go!" He struggled with her hands. "Let go, I'm not your brother! I hate you!" he spat the same old words.

The little girl looked up, meeting his gaze. It was so penetrating, it seemed as if she had seen through him. It was so cold, he felt so cold.