All About that Mom Life!

Morning Mom Life

My morning in case anyone was curious;
      Wake up at 5:45 after finally falling asleep at 3 am. Had to make my own coffee. (First world problem) It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't great. I only drank half of it before it was cold and gross. Make all the kids lunches and write them notes. I save time by making clothes choices for them a week in advance.
     First, I go wake the eldest. She usually stays up really late and is not a morning person. She always wakes up confused, has no clue who she is or how she got here, and I have to stand at her door until she gets out of bed or she will go back to sleep. Next, I go wake the eldest son. He is in a cave under his bed. He pops right up and goes straight into a full blown conversation which my mind cannot comprehend this early and without substantial caffeine. "Mama, did you know in Pokemon.. I am not sure what the rest was." I give the usual, "Oh yeah? That's cool." I have laid out his clothes for him so he can get dressed. If I let that one make decisions we would not leave the house until noon. Next, I go to the youngest daughter's room and try to find her amongst the mess that is her room, and the bed is full of toys. She is always the hardest to wake up. She is usually always grumpy, and sometimes I would swear she is an adorably cute spawn of the devil himself. I have to dress her as she curls up in a ball and growls at me. Then, I usually tickle her afterwards, and she finally cracks a smile and then giggles. All the sudden, she is my sweetness again. Sour patch kid! We go to my room and do her hair in pigtails once more, because "I'm so cute huh mama?" "Yes you are baby!"
     At this point, the zombie-like oldest daughter drags herself up the stairs, finally dressed. I then help her straighten her hair and put a light color blush, a small amount of mascara, a dab of tinted lip balm, and then we  make her eyebrows a bit darker because her biggest complaint is they are invisible because she has such light blonde hair. And then she is good to go. Lucky brat! She is so naturally beautiful that she doesn't need a crazy coating of makeup just to look human like I do.
     Then, we all make our way down the stairs. I make them some breakfast, usually cereal or microwave pancakes, because I'm not June Cleaver. Can't do it all right?! And if you are one of those moms who can and does, I don't like you! Moms like you make me look bad. You are probably the moms who show up to actually walk their kids to the classroom with perfect styled hair, and the cutest matching outfit. I'm wearing a random tshirt and usually some pajama or yoga pants. I did however run a brush through my wild mane this morning, and that felt like an accomplishment. Until I saw those moms!
     While they are eating, it is now time for the hardest part. Waking up the baby. He doesn't sleep well at night because of his sensory disorder, so more than likely he hasn't been asleep but a couple of hours. I can usually change his diaper and his clothes without him waking up. His diaper is usually soaked and this morning there was an extra gift for mommy to clean up. Apparently his body shuts down and expels everything in his system while he sleeps. Fun! It's literally a sh*tty job but someone has to do it. And no amount of convincing would ever get the older kids to help.  I have to drag his deadweight up because he hasn't fully woke up yet. So somehow this tiny creature feels like a 50 pound sack of something that comes in a big sack. He is whiny, and crying because mama is so mean for making him wake up and come with us. At this point, I have to coerce the youngest daughter into brushing her teeth. The older two just do it now thankfully. But the little one fights it every time. She is now channeling the energy of an MMA fighter. So tiny, yet so insane.
      Then, it is 7:15 and time to rush out the door. Thanks to the schools' new earlier starting time. Yay! (Sarcasm) Now is the fun part. We usually start off listening to Beastie Boys, Brass Monkey. The kids don't know what the song is really about; they assume a jungle animal. And they like the beat as it pumps us all up. And mama knows all the words. Because I'm cool like that! We fight all the traffic lights, horrible drivers, and slowpokes and make it to the elementary. I let the youngest two out and make sure to yell, "Have a good day! Mama loves you!" When they are gone, the oldest and I can now have real talk time. Or gossip. Whatever! I love it. She is amazing! And I made that! See! I'm good at something! 😀
      When I let her out at the middle school, I can put on the music I really want to, and blast it. Usually something upbeat and cheerful like Eminem, Tupac, or another hardcore gangsta rap tune. I need to wake up! So I'm dancing and singing along. You would never guess from looking at me, but I am quite a good rapper. On the ride home, the baby and I can hit up a few pokestops.
     When we get home, I make him some breakfast, and now it is time for the inevitable hunt for the remote control. Because you know, who doesn't like ransacking the living room before 9 am? And we couldn't possibly dare to leave it in the same spot. I put on Beat Bugs for Ezra to watch. I actually really like that show. Finally one that doesn't annoy me to no end and make me want to rip all my hair out and scream! I go make myself a cappuccino this time because the coffee was such a disappointment, and my caffeine level hasn't hit functional yet. Who am I kidding? I just need to have a caffeine IV line started. Now we are sitting here cuddling.
     Later, we will go play outside, or walk to the park since it is so close. (And he likes riding in the stroller, and mommy likes that the park has pokestops) Then, when or IF he takes a nap, I can either clean, pay bills, do the endless things that need to be done, or have a tiny moment for myself. That's a hard choice! Not! Also, I will try to find the time to squeeze in a shower. And so the routine repeats itself day after day after day.
     Right now I'm good because the newness of school hasn't worn off. But those days where I just don't want to drag myself out of bed are soon coming. Just you wait! 😀