Poems I Invented

Mama

Authors note: MAY BE TRIGGERING FOR SOME PEOPLE! This poem is about something that happened to me a few months ago with someone I thought was my friend. My mother tried to warn me about him, but I didn't listen. In the end, she turned out to be right and I regret not listening to her.

Mama I can not tell you,

You won't understand,

I'll never be good as new.

Mama he hurt me 

in a way no one should be hurt,

I'm glad you weren't there to see.

Mama if you could read my mind, 

you would be in violent tears,

because you would see he wasn't kind.

Mama if you could experience my despair,

you would understand 

why I can never repair.

Mama he hurt me real bad.

But I can't be angry,

just incredibly sad.

Mama i'm so terrified.

What he did left me scarred 

and horrified.

Mama he touched me in my most sacred place.

He was all over me,

so please just give me some space.

Mama I can't focus on the dishes right now.

I'm too busy trying to stop the flashbacks,

but how?

Mama I know you think I'm fine,

but I'm far from it.

How can I be when he violated something of mine?

Mama I should have listened to you 

when you said he was no good.

I thought I knew more, but I see now that wasn't true.

Mama he made such a mess of me.

He took my dignity 

before I could disagree.

Mama I want to cry,

but my pride won't let me,

no matter how hard I try.

Mama I'm in pain.

Its all so much,

Its driving me insane.

Mama I don't know how to feel.

he created a scar

that is nearly impossible to heal.

Mama I wanna tell you so bad,

but if he found out,

Oh! He would be so mad!

Mama I'm sorry I lash out at you,

I don't know how to control it,

I really don't mean to.

Mama my world has been turned upside down,

I feel so anxious,

I feel like I'm gonna drown.

Mama I feel so much shame.

I shouldn't have trusted him,

 I am the one to blame.

Mama if you read this one day,

I hope you know I wanted to tell you,

But I didn't know what to say.